Pope John Paul
II
Given on February 2 and
released on February 22 at the Vatican.
CONTENTS
1. Introduction
2. The family - way of the Church
3. The Year of the Family
4. Prayer 5. Love and concern for all
families
I. THE CIVILIZATION OF LOVE
6. "Male and female he created
them"
7. The marital covenant
8. The unity of the two
9. The genealogy of the person
10. The common good of marriage and
the family
11. The sincere gift of self
12. Responsible fatherhood and motherhood
13. The two civilizations
14. Love is demanding
15. The fourth commandment: "Honour
your father and your mother"
16. Education
17. Family and society
II. THE BRIDEGROOM IS WITH YOU
18. At Cana in Galilee
19. The Great Mystery
20. Mother of Fairest Love
21. Birth and Danger
22. "You welcomed me"
23. "Strengthened in the inner
man"
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Dear Families!
1. The celebration of the Year
of the Family gives me a welcome opportunity
to knock at the door of your home, eager
to greet you with deep affection and
to spend time with you. I do so by this
Letter, taking as my point of departure
the words of the Encyclical Redemptor
Hominis, published in the first days
of my ministry as the Successor of Peter.
There I wrote that man is the way of
the Church.[1]
With these words I wanted first of
all to evoke the many paths along which
man walks, and at the same time to emphasize
how deeply the Church desires to stand
at his side as he follows the paths
of his earthly life. The Church shares
in the joys and hopes, the sorrows and
anxieties[2] Of people's daily pilgrimage,
firmly convinced that it was Christ
himself who set her on all these paths.
Christ entrusted man to the Church;
he entrusted man to her as the "way"
of her mission and her ministry.
THE FAMILY - WAY OF THE CHURCH
2. Among these many paths, the
family is the first and the most important.
It is a path common to all, yet one
which is particular, unique and unrepeatable,
just as every individual is unrepeatable;
it is a path from which man cannot withdraw.
Indeed, a person normally comes into
the world within a family, and can be
said to owe to the family the very fact
of his existing as an individual. When
he has no family, the person coming
into the world develops an anguished
sense of pain and loss, one which will
subsequently burden his whole life.
The Church draws near with loving concern
to all who experience situations such
as these, for she knows well the fundamental
role which the family is called upon
to play. Furthermore, she knows that
a person goes forth from the family
in order to realize in a new family
unit his particular vocation in life.
Even if someone chooses to remain single,
the family continues to be, as it were,
his existential horizon, that fundamental
community in which the whole network
of social relations is grounded, from
the closest and most immediate to the
most distant. Do we not often speak
of the "human family" when
referring to all the people living in
the world?
The family has its origin in that same
love with which the Creator embraces
the created world, as was already expressed
"in the beginning", in the
Book of Genesis (1:1). In the Gospel
Jesus offers a supreme confirmation:
"God so loved the world that he
gave his only Son" (Jn 3:16). The
only-begotten Son, of one substance
with the Father, "God from God
and Light from Light", entered
into human history through the family:
"For by his incarnation the Son
of God united himself in a certain way
with every man. He laboured with human
hands... and loved with a human heart.
Born of Mary the Virgin, he truly became
one of us and, except for sin, was like
us in every respect".[3] If in
fact Christ "fully discloses man
to himself",[4] he does so beginning
with the family in which he chose to
be born and to grow up. We know that
the Redeemer spent most of his life
in the obscurity of Nazareth, "obedient"
(Lk 2:51) as the "Son of Man"
to Mary his Mother, and to Joseph the
carpenter. Is this filial "obedience"
of Christ not already the first expression
of that obedience to the Father "unto
death" (Phil 2:8), whereby he redeemed
the world?
The divine mystery of the Incarnation
of the Word thus has an intimate connection
with the human family. Not only with
one family, that of Nazareth, but in
some way with every family, analogously
to what the Second Vatican Council says
about the Son of God, who in the Incarnation
"united himself in some sense with
every man".[5] Following Christ
who "came" into the world
"to serve" (Mt 20:28), the
Church considers serving the family
to be one of her essential duties. In
this sense both man and the family constitute
"the way of the Church."
THE YEAR OF THE FAMILY
3. For these very reasons the
Church joyfully welcomes the decision
of the United Nations Organization to
declare 1994 the International Year
of the Family. This initiative makes
it clear how fundamental the question
of the family is for the member States
of the United Nations. If the Church
wishes to take part in this initiative,
it is because she herself has been sent
by Christ to "all nations"
(Mt 28:19). Moreover, this is not the
first time the Church has made her own
an international initiative of the United
Nations. We need but recall, for example,
the International Year of Youth in 1985.
In this way also the Church makes herself
present in the world, fulfilling a desire
which was dear to Pope John XII, and
which inspired the Second Vatican Council's
Constitution Gaudium et Spes.
On the Feast of the Holy Family in
1993 the whole ecclesial community began
the "Year of the Family" as
one of the important steps along the
path of preparation for the Great Jubilee
of the Year 2000, which will mark the
end of the second and the beginning
of the third Millennium of the Birth
of Jesus Christ. This Year ought to
direct our thoughts and our hearts towards
Nazareth, where it was officially inaugurated
this past 26 December at a Solemn Eucharistic
Liturgy presided over by the Papal Legate.
Throughout this Year it is important
to discover anew the many signs of the
Church's love and concern for the family,
a love and concern expressed from the
very beginning of Christianity, when
the meaningful term "domestic church"
was applied to the family. In our own
times we have often returned to the
phrase "domestic church",
which the Council adopted[6] and the
sense of which we hope will always remain
alive in people's minds. This desire
is not lessened by an awareness of the
changed conditions of families in today's
world. Precisely because of this, there
is a continuing relevance to the title
chosen by the Council in the Pastoral
Constitution Gaudium et Spes in order
to indicate what the Church should be
doing in the present situation: "Promoting
the dignity of marriage and the family".[7]
Another important reference point after
the Council is the 1981 Apostolic Exhortation
Familiaris Consortio. This text takes
into account a vast and complex experience
with regard to the family, which among
different peoples and countries always
and everywhere continues to be the "way
of the Church". In a certain sense
it becomes all the more so precisely
in those places where the family is
suffering from internal crises or is
exposed to adverse cultural, social
and economic influences which threaten
its inner unity and strength, and even
stand in the way of its very formation.
PRAYER
4. In this Letter I wish to
speak not to families "in the abstract"
but to every particular family in every
part of the world, wherever it is located
and whatever the diversity and complexity
of its culture and history. The love
with which God "loved the world"
(Jn 3:16), the love with which Christ
loved each and every one "to the
end" (Jn 13:1), makes it possible
to address this message to each family,
as a living "cell" of the
great and universal "family"
of mankind. The Father, Creator of the
Universe, and the Word Incarnate, the
Redeemer of humanity, are the source
of this universal openness to all people
as brothers and sisters, and they impel
us to embrace them in the prayer which
begins with the tender words: "Our
Father".
Prayer makes the Son of God present
among us: "For where two or three
are gathered in my name, I am there
among them" (Mt 18:20). This Letter
to Families wishes in the first place
to be a prayer to Christ to remain in
every human family; an invitation to
him, in and through the small family
of parents and children, to dwell in
the great family of nations, so that
together with him all of us can truly
say: "Our Father"! Prayer
must become the dominant element of
the Year of the Family in the Church:
prayer by the family, prayer for the
family, and prayer with the family.
It is significant that precisely in
and through prayer, man comes to discover
in a very simple and yet profound way
his own unique subjectivity: in prayer
the human "I" more easily
perceives the depth of what it means
to be a person. This is also true of
the family, which is not only the basic
"cell" of society, but also
possesses a particular subjectivity
of its own. This subjectivity finds
its first and fundamental confirmation,
and is strengthened, precisely when
the members of the family meet in the
common invocation: "Our Father".
Prayer increases the strength and spiritual
unity of the family, helping the family
to partake of God's own "strength".
In the solemn nuptial blessing during
the Rite of Marriage, the celebrant
calls upon the Lord in these words:
"Pour out upon them [the newlyweds]
the grace of the Holy Spirit so that
by your love poured into their hearts
they will remain faithful in the marriage
covenant".[8] This "visitation"
of the Holy Spirit gives rise to the
inner strength of families, as well
as the power capable of uniting them
in love and truth.
LOVE AND CONCERN FOR ALL FAMILIES
5. May the Year of the Family
become a harmonious and universal prayer
on the part of all "domestic churches"
and of the whole People of God! May
this prayer also reach families in difficulty
or danger, lacking confidence or experiencing
division, or in situations which Familiaris
Consortio describes as "irregular".[9]
May all families be able to feel the
loving and caring embrace of their brothers
and sisters! During the Year of the
Family, prayer should first of all be
an encouraging witness on the part of
those families who live out their human
and Christian vocation in the communion
of the home. How many of them there
are in every nation, diocese and parish!
With reason it can be said that these
families make up "the norm",
even admitting the existence of more
than a few "irregular situations".
And experience shows what an important
role is played by a family living in
accordance with the moral norm, so that
the individual born and raised in it
will be able to set out without hesitation
on the road of the good, which is always
written in his heart. Unfortunately
various programmes backed by very powerful
resources nowadays seem to aim at the
breakdown of the family. At times it
appears that concerted efforts are being
made to present as "normal"
and attractive, and even to glamourize,
situations which are in fact "irregular".
Indeed, they contradict "the truth
and love" which should inspire
and guide relationships between men
and women, thus causing tensions and
divisions in families, with grave consequences
particularly for children. The moral
conscience becomes darkened; what is
true, good and beautiful is deformed;
and freedom is replaced by what is actually
enslavement. In view of all this, how
relevant and thought-provoking are the
words of the Apostle Paul about the
freedom for which Christ has set us
free, and the slavery which is caused
by sin (cf. Gal 5:1)!
It is apparent then how timely and
even necessary a Year of the Family
is for the Church; how indispensable
is the witness of all families who live
their vocation day by day; how urgent
it is for families to pray and for that
prayer to increase and to spread throughout
the world, expressing thanksgiving for
love in truth, for "the outpouring
of the grace of the Holy Spirit,[10]
for the presence among parents and children
of Christ the Redeemer and Bridegroom,
who "loved us to the end"
(cf. Jn 13:1). Let us be deeply convinced
that this love is the greatest of all
(cf. 1 Cor 13:13), and let us believe
that it is really capable of triumphing
over everything that is not love.
During this year may the prayer of
the Church, the prayer of families as
"domestic churches", constantly
rise up! May it make itself heard first
by God and then also by people everywhere,
so that they will not succumb to doubt,
and all who are wavering because of
human weakness will not yield to the
tempting glamour of merely apparent
goods, like those held out in every
temptation.
At Cana in Galilee, where Jesus was
invited to a marriage banquet, his Mother,
also present, said to the servants:
"Do whatever he tells you"
(Jn 2:5). Now that we have begun our
celebration of the Year of the Family,
Mary says the same words to us. What
Christ tells us, in this particular
moment of history, constitutes a forceful
call to a great prayer with families
and for families. The Virgin Mother
invites us to unite ourselves through
this prayer to the sentiments of her
Son, who loves each and every family.
He expressed this love at the very beginning
of his mission as Redeemer, with his
sanctifying presence at Cana in Galilee,
a presence which still continues.
Let us pray for families throughout
the world. Let us pray, through Christ,
with him and in him, to the Father "from
whom every family in heaven and on earth
is named" (Eph 3:15).
I. THE CIVILIZATION OF LOVE
"MALE AND FEMALE HE CREATED
THEM"
6. The universe, immense and
diverse as it is, the world of all living
beings, is inscribed in God's fatherhood,
which is its source (cf. Eph 3:14-16).
This can be said, of course, on the
basis of an analogy, thanks to which
we can discern, at the very beginning
of the Book of Genesis, the reality
of fatherhood and motherhood and consequently
of the human family. The interpretative
key enabling this discernment is provided
by the principle of the "image"
and "likeness" of God highlighted
by the scriptural text (Gen 1:26). God
creates by the power of his word: "Let
there be...!" (e.g., Gen 1:3).
Significantly, in the creation of man
this word of God is followed by these
other words: "Let us make man in
our image, after our likeness"
(Gen 1:26). Before creating man, the
Creator withdraws as it were into himself,
in order to seek the pattern and inspiration
in the mystery of his Being, which is
already here disclosed as the divine
"We". From this mystery the
human being comes forth by an act of
creation: "God created man in his
own image, in the image of God he created
him; male and female he created them"
(Gen 1:27).
God speaks to these newly-created beings
and he blesses them: "Be fruitful
and multiply, and fill the earth and
subdue it" (Gen 1:28). The Book
of Genesis employs the same expressions
used earlier for the creation of other
living beings: "multiply".
But it is clear that these expressions
are being used in an analogous sense.
Is there not present here the analogy
of begetting and of fatherhood and motherhood,
which should be understood in the light
of the overall context? No living being
on earth except man was created "in
the image and likeness of God".
Human fatherhood and motherhood, while
remaining biologically similar to that
of other living beings in nature, contain
in an essential and unique way a "likeness"
to God which is the basis of the family
as a community of human life, as a community
of persons united in love (communio
personarum).
In the light of the New Testament it
is possible to discern how the primordial
model of the family is to be sought
in God himself, in the Trinitarian mystery
of his life. The divine "We"
is the eternal pattern of the human
"we", especially of that "we"
formed by the man and the woman created
in the divine image and likeness. The
words of the Book of Genesis contain
that truth about man which is confirmed
by the very experience of humanity.
Man is created "from the very beginning"
as male and female: the life of all
humanity--whether of small communities
or of society as a whole--marked by
this primordial duality. From it there
derive the "masculinity" and
the "femininity" of individuals,
just as from it every community draws
its own unique richness in the mutual
fulfillment of persons. This is what
seems to be meant by the words of the
Book of Genesis: "Male and female
he created them" (Gen 1:27). Here
too we find the first statement of the
equal dignity of man and woman: both
in equal measure, are persons. Their
constitution, with the specific dignity
which derives from it, defines "from
the beginning" the qualities of
the common good of humanity, in every
dimension and circumstance of life.
To this common good both man and woman
make their specific contribution. Hence
one can discover, at the very origins
of human society, the qualities of communion
and of complementarity.
THE MARITAL COVENANT
7. The family has always been
considered as the first and basic expression
of man's social nature. Even today this
way of looking at things remains unchanged.
Nowadays, however, emphasis tends to
be laid on how much the family, as the
smallest and most basic human community,
owes to the personal contribution of
a man and a woman. The family is in
fact a community of persons whose proper
way of existing and living together
is communion: communio personarum. Here
too, while always acknowledging the
absolute transcendence of the Creator
with regard to his creatures, we can
see the family's ultimate relationship
to the divine "We". Only persons
are capable of living "in communion".
The family originates in a marital communion
described by the Second Vatican Council
as a "covenant", in which
man and woman "give themselves
to each other and accept each other".[11]
The Book of Genesis helps us to see
this truth when it states, in reference
to the establishment of the family through
marriage, that "a man leaves his
father and his mother and cleaves to
his wife, and they become one flesh"
(Gen 2:24). In the Gospel, Christ, disputing
with the Pharisees, quotes these same
words and then adds: "So they are
no longer two but one flesh. What therefore
God has joined together, let not man
put asunder" (Mt 19:6). In this
way, he reveals anew the binding content
of a fact which exists "from the
beginning" (Mt 19:8) and which
always preserves this content. If the
Master confirms it "now",
he does so in order to make clear and
unmistakable to all, at the dawn of
the New Covenant, the indissoluble character
of marriage as the basis of the common
good of the family.
When, in union with the Apostle, we
bow our knees before the Father from
whom all fatherhood and motherhood is
named (cf. Eph 3:14-15), we come to
realize that parenthood is the event
whereby the family, already constituted
by the conjugal covenant of marriage,
is brought about "in the full and
specific sense".[12] Motherhood
necessarily implies fatherhood, and
in turn, fatherhood necessarily implies
motherhood. This is the result of the
duality bestowed by the Creator upon
human beings "from the beginning".
I have spoken of two closely related
yet not identical concepts: the concept
of "communion" and that of
"community". "Communion"
has to do with the personal relationship
between the "I" and the "thou".
"Community" on the other hand
transcends this framework and moves
towards a "society", a "we".
The family, as a community of persons,
is thus the first human "society".
It arises whenever there comes into
being the conjugal covenant of marriage,
which opens the spouses to a lasting
communion of love and of life, and it
is brought to completion in a full and
specific way with the procreation of
children: the "communion"
of the spouses gives rise to the "community"
of the family. The "community"
of the family is completely pervaded
by the very essence of "communion".
On the human level, can there be any
other "communion" comparable
to that between a mother and a child
whom she has carried in her womb and
then brought to birth?
In the family thus constituted there
appears a new unity, in which the relationship
"of communion" between the
parents attains complete fulfillment.
Experience teaches that this fulfillment
represents both a task and a challenge.
The task involves the spouses in living
out their original covenant. The children
born to them--and here is the challenge
should consolidate that covenant, enriching
and deepening the conjugal communion
of the father and mother. When this
does not occur, we need to ask if the
selfishness which lurks even in the
love of man and woman as a result of
the human inclination to evil is not
stronger than this love. Married couples
need to be well aware of this. From
the outset they need to have their hearts
and thoughts turned towards the God
"from whom every family is named",
so that their fatherhood and motherhood
will draw from that source the power
to be continually renewed in love.
Fatherhood and motherhood are themselves
a particular proof of love; they make
it possible to discover love's extension
and original depth. But this does not
take place automatically. Rather, it
is a task entrusted to both husband
and wife. In the life of husband and
wife together, fatherhood and motherhood
represent such a sublime "novelty"
and richness as can only be approached
"on one's knees".
Experience teaches that human love,
which naturally tends towards fatherhood
and motherhood, is sometimes affected
by a profound crisis and is thus seriously
threatened. In such cases, help can
be sought at marriage and family counselling
centres, where it is possible, among
other things, to obtain the assistance
of specifically trained psychologists
and psychotherapists. At the same time,
however, we cannot forget the perennial
validity of the words of the Apostle:
"I bow my knees before the Father,
from whom every family in heaven and
on earth is named". Marriage, the
Sacrament of Matrimony, is a covenant
of persons in love. And love can be
deepened and preserved only by Love,
that Love which is "poured into
our hearts through the Holy Spirit which
has been given to us" (Rom 5:5).
During the Year of the Family should
our prayer not concentrate on the crucial
and decisive moment of the passage from
conjugal love to childbearing, and thus
to fatherhood and motherhood? Is that
not precisely the moment when there
is an indispensable need for the "outpouring
of the grace of the Holy Spirit"
invoked in the liturgical celebration
of the Sacrament of Matrimony?
The Apostle, bowing his knees before
the Father, asks that the faithful "be
strengthened with might through his
Spirit in the inner man" (Eph 3:16).
This "inner strength" is necessary
in all family life, especially at its
critical moments, when the love which
was expressed in the liturgical rite
of marital consent with the words, "I
promise to be faithful to you always...
all the days of my life", is put
to a difficult test.
THE UNITY OF THE TWO
8. Only "persons"
are capable of saying those words; only
they are able to live "in communion"
on the basis of a mutual choice which
is, or ought to be, fully conscious
and free. The Book of Genesis, in speaking
of a man who leaves father and mother
in order to cleave to his wife (cf.
Gen 2:24), highlights the conscious
and free choice which gives rise to
marriage, making the son of a family
a husband, and the daughter of a family
a wife. How can we adequately understand
this mutual choice, unless we take into
consideration the full truth about the
person, who is a rational and free being?
The Second Vatican Council, in speaking
of the likeness of God, uses extremely
significant terms. It refers not only
to the divine image and likeness which
every human being as such already possesses,
but also and primarily to "a certain
similarity between the union of the
divine persons and the union of God's
children in truth and love".[13]
This rich and meaningful formulation
first of all confirms what is central
to the identity of every man and every
woman. This identity consists in the
capacity to live in truth and love;
even more, it consists in the need of
truth and love as an essential dimension
of the life of the person. Man's need
for truth and love opens him both to
God and to creatures: it opens him to
other people, to life "in communion",
and in particular to marriage and to
the family. In the words of the Council,
the "communion" of persons
is drawn in a certain sense from the
mystery of the Trinitarian "We",
and therefore "conjugal communion"
also refers to this mystery. The family,
which originates in the love of man
and woman, ultimately derives from the
mystery of God. This conforms to the
innermost being of man and woman, to
their innate and authentic dignity as
persons.
In marriage man and woman are so firmly
united as to become to use the words
of the Book of Genesis--"one flesh"
(Gen 2:24). Male and female in their
physical constitution, the two human
subjects, even though physically different,
share equally in the capacity to live
"in truth and love". This
capacity, characteristic of the human
being as a person, has at the same time
both a spiritual and a bodily dimension.
It is also through the body that man
and woman are predisposed to form a
"communion of persons" in
marriage. When they are united by the
conjugal covenant in such a way as to
become "one flesh" (Gen 2:24),
their union ought to take place "in
truth and love", and thus express
the maturity proper to persons created
in the image and likeness of God.
The family which results from this
union draws its inner solidity from
the covenant between the spouses, which
Christ raised to a Sacrament. The family
draws its proper character as a community,
its traits of "communion",
from that fundamental communion of the
spouses which is prolonged in their
children. "Will you accept children
lovingly from God, and bring them up
according to the law of Christ and his
Church?", the celebrant asks during
the Rite of Marriage.[14] The answer
given by the spouses reflects the most
profound truth of the love which unites
them. Their unity, however, rather than
closing them up in themselves, opens
them towards a new life, towards a new
person. As parents, they will be capable
of giving life to a being like themselves,
not only bone of their bones and flesh
of their flesh (cf. Gen 2:23), but an
image and likeness of God--a person.
When the Church asks "Are you
willing?", she is reminding the
bride and groom that they stand before
the creative power of God. They are
called to become parents, to cooperate
with the Creator in giving life. Cooperating
with God to call new human beings into
existence means contributing to the
transmission of that divine image and
likeness of which everyone "born
of a woman" is a bearer.
THE GENEALOGY OF THE PERSON
9. Through the communion of
persons which occurs in marriage, a
man and a woman begin a family. Bound
up with the family is the genealogy
of every individual: the genealogy of
the person. Human fatherhood and motherhood
are rooted in biology, yet at the same
time transcend it. The Apostle, with
knees bowed "before the Father
from whom all fatherhood [and motherhood]
in heaven and on earth is named",
in a certain sense asks us to look at
the whole world of living creatures,
from the spiritual beings in heaven
to the corporeal beings on earth. Every
act of begetting finds its primordial
model in the fatherhood of God. Nonetheless,
in the case of man, this "cosmic"
dimension of likeness to God is not
sufficient to explain adequately the
relationship of fatherhood and motherhood.
When a new person is born of the conjugal
union of the two, he brings with him
into the world a particular image and
likeness of God himself: the genealogy
of the person is inscribed in the very
biology of generation.
In affirming that the spouses, as parents,
cooperate with God the Creator in conceiving
and giving birth to a new human being,[15]
we are not speaking merely with reference
to the laws of biology. Instead, we
wish to emphasize that God himself is
present in human fatherhood and motherhood
quite differently than he is present
in all other instances of begetting
"on earth". Indeed, God alone
is the source of that "image and
likeness" which is proper to the
human being, as it was received at Creation.
Begetting is the continuation of Creation.[16]
And so, both in the conception and
in the birth of a new child, parents
find themselves face to face with a
"great mystery" (cf. Eph 5:32).
Like his parents, the new human being
is also called to live as a person;
he is called to a life "in truth
and love". This call is not only
open to what exists in time, but in
God it is also open to eternity. This
is the dimension of the genealogy of
the person which has been revealed definitively
by Christ, who casts the light of his
Gospel on human life and death and thus
on the meaning of the human family.
As the Council affirms, man is "the
only creature on earth whom God willed
for its own sake"[17] Man's coming
into being does not conform to the laws
of biology alone, but also, and directly,
to God's creative will, which is concerned
with the genealogy of the sons and daughters
of human families. God "willed"
man from the very beginning, and God
"wills" him in every act of
conception and every human birth. God
"wills" man as a being similar
to himself, as a person. This man, every
man, is created by God "for his
own sake". That is true of all
persons, including those born with sicknesses
or disabilities. Inscribed in the personal
constitution of every human being is
the will of God, who wills that man
should be, in a certain sense, an end
unto himself. God hands man over to
himself, entrusting him both to his
family and to society as their responsibility.
Parents, in contemplating a new human
being, are, or ought to be, fully aware
of the fact that God "wills"
this individual "for his own sake".
This concise expression is profoundly
rich in meaning. From the very moment
of conception, and then of birth, the
new being is meant to express fully
his humanity, to "find himself"
as a person.[18] This is true for absolutely
everyone, including the chronically
ill and the disabled. "To be human"
is his fundamental vocation: "to
be human" in accordance with the
gift received, in accordance with that
"talent" which is humanity
itself, and only then in accordance
with other talents. In this sense God
wills every man "for his own sake".
In God's plan, however, the vocation
of the human person extends beyond the
boundaries of time. It encounters the
will of the Father revealed in the Incarnate
Word: "God's will is to lavish
upon man a sharing in his own divine
life. As Christ says: "I came that
they may have life and have it abundantly"
(Jn 10:10).
Does affirming man's ultimate destiny
not conflict with the statement that
God wills man "for his own sake"?
If he has been created for divine life,
can man truly exist "for his own
sake"? This is a critical question,
one of great significance both for the
beginning of his earthly life and its
end: it is important for the whole span
of his life. It might appear that in
destining man for divine life God definitively
takes away man's existing "for
his own sake".[19] What then is
the relationship between the life of
the person and his sharing in the life
of the Trinity? Saint Augustine provides
us with the answer in his celebrated
phrase: "Our heart is restless
until it rests in you".[20] This
"restless heart" serves to
point out that between the one finality
and the other there is in fact no contradiction,
but rather a relationship, a complementarity,
a unity. By his very genealogy, the
person created in the image and likeness
of God, exists "for his own sake"
and reaches fulfillment precisely by
sharing in God's life. The content of
this self-fulfillment is the fullness
of life in God, proclaimed by Christ
(cf. Jn 6:37-40), who redeemed us precisely
so that we might come to share it (cf.
Mk 10:45).
It is for themselves that married couples
want children; in children they see
the crowning of their own love for each
other. They want children for the family,
as a priceless gift.[21] This is quite
understandable. Nonetheless, in conjugal
love and in paternal and maternal love
we should find inscribed the same truth
about man which the Council expressed
in a clear and concise way in its statement
that God "willed man for his own
sake". It is thus necessary that
the will of the parents should be in
harmony with the will of God. They must
want the new human creature in the same
way as the Creator wants him: "for
himself". Our human will is always
and inevitably subject to the law of
time and change. The divine will, on
the other hand, is eternal. As we read
in the Book of the Prophet Jeremiah:
"Before I formed you in the womb
I knew you, and before you were born
I consecrated you" (Jer 1:5). The
genealogy of the person is thus united
with the eternity of God, and only then
with human fatherhood and motherhood,
which are realized in time. At the moment
of conception itself, man is already
destined to eternity in God.
THE COMMON GOOD OF MARRIAGE AND
THE FAMILY
10. Marital consent defines
and consolidates the good common to
marriage and to the family. "I,
N., take you, N., to be my wife/husband.
I promise to be true to you in good
times and in bad, in sickness and in
health. I will love you and honour you
all the days of my life".[22] Marriage
is a unique communion of persons, and
it is on the basis of this communion
that the family is called to become
a community of persons. This is a commitment
which the bride and groom undertake
"before God and his Church",
as the celebrant reminds them before
they exchange their consent.[23] Those
who take part in the rite are witnesses
of this commitment, for in a certain
sense they represent the Church and
society, the settings in which the new
family will live and grow.
The words of consent define the common
good of the couple and of the family.
First, the common good of the spouses:
love, fidelity, honour, the permanence
of their union until death--"all
the days of my life". The good
of both, which is at the same time the
good of each, must then become the good
of the children. The common good, by
its very nature, both unites individual
persons and ensures the true good of
each. If the Church (and the State for
that matter) receives the consent which
the spouses express in the words cited
above, she does so because that consent
is "written in their hearts"
(Rom 2:15). It is the spouses who give
their consent to each other by a solemn
promise, that is by confirming the truth
of that consent in the sight of God.
As baptized Christians, they are the
ministers of the Sacrament of Matrimony
in the Church. Saint Paul teaches that
this mutual commitment of theirs is
a "great mystery" (Eph 5:32).
The words of consent, then, express
what is essential to the common good
of the spouses, and they indicate what
ought to be the common good of the future
family. In order to bring this out,
the Church asks the spouses if they
are prepared to accept the children
God grants them and to raise the children
as Christians. This question calls to
mind the common good of the future family
unit, evoking the genealogy of persons
which is part of the constitution of
marriage and of the family itself. The
question about children and their education
is profoundly linked to marital consent,
with its solemn promise of love, conjugal
respect, and fidelity until death. The
acceptance and education of children--two
of the primary ends of the family--are
conditioned by how that commitment will
be fulfilled. Fatherhood and motherhood
represent a responsibility which is
not simply physical but spiritual in
nature, indeed, through these realities
there passes the genealogy of the person,
which has its eternal beginning in God
and which must lead back to him.
The Year of the Family, as a year of
special prayer on the part of families,
ought to renew and deepen each family's
awareness of these truths. What a wealth
of biblical reflections could nourish
that prayer! Together with the words
of Sacred Scripture, these prayerful
reflections should always include the
personal memories of the spouses-parents,
the children and grandchildren. Through
the genealogy of persons, conjugal communion
becomes a communion of generations.
The sacramental union of the two spouses,
sealed in the covenant which they enter
into before God, endures and grows stronger
as the generations pass. It must become
a union in prayer. But for all this
to become clearly apparent during the
Year of the Family, prayer needs to
become a regular habit in the daily
life of each family. Prayer is thanksgiving,
praise of God, asking for forgiveness,
supplication and invocation. In all
of these forms the prayer of the family
has much to say to God. It also has
much to say to others, beginning with
the mutual communion of persons joined
together by family ties.
The Psalmist asks: "What is man
that you keep him in mind?" (Ps
8:4). Prayer is the place where, in
a very simple way, the creative and
fatherly remembrance of God is made
manifest: not only man's remembrance
of God, but also and especially God's
remembrance of man. In this way, the
prayer of the family as a community
can become a place of common and mutual
remembrance: the family is in fact a
community of generations. In prayer
everyone should be present: the living
and those who have died, and also those
yet to come into the world. Families
should pray for all of their members,
in view of the good which the family
is for each individual and which each
individual is for the whole family.
Prayer strengthens this good, precisely
as the common good of the family. Moreover,
it creates this good ever anew. In prayer,
the family discovers itself as the first
"us", in which each member
is "I" and "thou";
each member is for the others either
husband or wife, father or mother, son
or daughter, brother or sister, grandparent
or grandchild.
Are all the families to which this
Letter is addressed like this? Certainly
a good number are, but the times in
which we are living tend to restrict
family units to two generations. Often
this is the case because available housing
is too limited, especially in large
cities. But it is not infrequently due
to the belief that having several generations
living together interferes with privacy
and makes life too difficult. But is
this not where the problem really lies?
Families today have too little "human"
life. There is a shortage of people
with whom to create and share the common
good; and yet that good, by its nature,
demands to be created and shared with
others: bonum est diffusivum sui: "good
is diffusive of itself".[24] The
more common the good, the more properly
one's own it will also be: mine - yours
- ours. This is the logic behind living
according to the good, living in truth
and charity. If man is able to accept
and follow this logic, his life truly
becomes a "sincere gift".
THE SINCERE GIFT OF SELF
11. After affirming that man
is the only creature on earth which
God willed for itself, the Council immediately
goes on to say that he cannot "fully
find himself except through a sincere
gift of self".[25] This might appear
to be a contradiction, but in fact it
is not. Instead it is the magnificent
paradox of human existence: an existence
called to serve the truth in love. Love
causes man to find fulfillment through
the sincere gift of self. To love means
to give and to receive something which
can be neither bought nor sold, but
only given freely and mutually.
By its very nature the gift of the
person must be lasting and irrevocable.
The indissolubility of marriage flows
in the first place from the very essence
of that gift: the gift of one person
to another person. This reciprocal giving
of self reveals the spousal nature of
love. In their marital consent the bride
and groom call each other by name: "I...
take you... as my wife (as my husband)
and I promise to be true to you... for
all the days of my life". A gift
such as this involves an obligation
much more serious and profound than
anything which might be "purchased"
in any way and at any price. Kneeling
before the Father, from whom all fatherhood
and motherhood come, the future parents
come to realize that they have been
"redeemed". They have been
purchased at great cost, by the price
of the most sincere gift of all, the
blood of Christ of which they partake
through the Sacrament. The liturgical
crowning of the marriage rite is the
Eucharist, the sacrifice of that "Body
which has been given up" and that
"Blood which has been shed",
which in a certain way finds expression
in the consent of the spouses.
When a man and woman in marriage mutually
give and receive each other in the unity
of "one flesh", the logic
of the sincere gift of self becomes
a part of their life. Without this,
marriage would be empty; whereas a communion
of persons, built on this logic, becomes
a communion of parents. When they transmit
life to the child, a new human "thou"
becomes a part of the horizon of the
"we" of the spouses, a person
whom they will call by a new name: "our
son...; our daughter...". "I
have gotten a man with the help of the
Lord" (Gen 4:1), says Eve, the
first woman of history: a human being,
first expected for nine months and then
"revealed" to parents, brothers
and sisters. The process from conception
and growth in the mother's womb to birth
makes it possible to create a space
within which the new creature can be
revealed as a "gift": indeed
this is what it is from the very beginning.
Could this frail and helpless being,
totally dependent upon its parents and
completely entrusted to them, be seen
in any other way? The newborn child
gives itself to its parents by the very
fact of its coming into existence. Its
existence is already a gift, the first
gift of the Creator to the creature.
In the newborn child is realized the
common good of the family. Just as the
common good of spouses is fulfilled
in conjugal love, ever ready to give
and receive new life, so too the common
good of the family is fulfilled through
that same spousal love, as embodied
in the newborn child. Part of the genealogy
of the person is the genealogy of the
family, preserved for posterity by the
annotations in the Church's baptismal
registers, even though these are merely
the social consequence of the fact that
"a man has been born into the world"
(cf. Jn 16:21).
But is it really true that the new
human being is a gift for his parents?
A gift for society? Apparently nothing
seems to indicate this. On occasion
the birth of a child appears to be a
simple statistical fact, registered
like so many other data in demographic
records. It is true that for the parents
the birth of a child means more work,
new financial burdens and further inconveniences,
all of which can lead to the temptation
not to want another birth.[26] In some
social and cultural contexts this temptation
can become very strong. Does this mean
that a child is not a gift? That it
comes into the world only to take and
not to give? These are some of the disturbing
questions which men and women today
find hard to escape. A child comes to
take up room, when it seems that there
is less and less room in the world.
But is it really true that a child brings
nothing to the family and society? Is
not every child a "particle"
of that common good without which human
communities break down and risk extinction?
Could this ever really be denied? The
child becomes a gift to its brothers,
sisters, parents and entire family.
Its life becomes a gift for the very
people who were givers of life and who
cannot help but feel its presence, its
sharing in their life and its contribution
to their common good and to that of
the community of the family. This truth
is obvious in its simplicity and profundity,
whatever the complexity and even the
possible pathology of the psychological
make-up of certain persons. The common
good of the whole of society dwells
in man; he is, as we recalled, "the
way of the Church".[27] Man is
first of all the "glory of God":
"Gloria Dei vivens homo",
in the celebrated words of Saint Irenaeus,[28]
which might also be translated: "the
glory of God is for man to be alive".
It could be said that here we encounter
the loftiest definition of man: the
glory of God is the common good of all
that exists; the common good of the
human race.
Yes! Man is a common good: a common
good of the family and of humanity,
of individual groups and of different
communities. But there are significant
distinctions of degree and modality
in this regard. Man is a common good,
for example, of the Nation to which
he belongs and of the State of which
he is a citizen; but in a much more
concrete, unique and unrepeatable way
he is a common good of his family. He
is such not only as an individual who
is part of the multitude of humanity,
but rather as "this individual".
God the Creator calls him into existence
"for himself"; and in coming
into the world he begins, in the family,
his "great adventure", the
adventure of human life. "This
man" has, in every instance, the
right to fulfil himself on the basis
of his human dignity. It is precisely
this dignity which establishes a person's
place among others, and above all, in
the family. The family is indeed--more
than any other human reality--the place
where an individual can exist "for
himself" through the sincere gift
of self. This is why it remains a social
institution which neither can nor should
be replaced: it is the "sanctuary
of life".[29]
The fact that a child is being born,
that "a child is born into the
world" (Jn 16:21) is a paschal
sign. As we read in the Gospel of John,
Jesus himself speaks of this to the
disciples before his passion and death,
comparing their sadness at his departure
with the pains of a woman in labour:
"When a woman is in travail she
has sorrow (that is, she suffers), because
her hour has come; but when she is delivered
of the child, she no longer remembers
the anguish, for joy that a child is
born into the world" (Jn 16:21).
The "hour" of Christ's death
(cf. Jn 13:1) is compared here to the
"hour" of the woman in birthpangs;
the birth of a new child fully reflects
the victory of life over death brought
about by the Lord's Resurrection. This
comparison can provide us with material
for reflection. Just as the Resurrection
of Christ is the manifestation of Life
beyond the threshold of death, so too
the birth of an infant is a manifestation
of life, which is always destined, through
Christ, for that "fullness of life"
which is in God himself: "I came
that they may have life, and have it
abundantly" (Jn 10:10). Here we
see revealed the deepest meaning of
Saint Irenaeus's expression: "Gloria
Dei vivens homo".
It is the Gospel truth concerning the
gift of self, without which the person
cannot "fully find himself",
which makes possible an appreciation
of how profoundly this "sincere
gift" is rooted in the gift of
God, Creator and Redeemer, and in the
"grace of the Holy Spirit"
which the celebrant during the Rite
of Marriage prays will be "poured
out" on the spouses. Without such
an "outpouring", it would
be very difficult to understand all
this and to carry it out as man's vocation.
Yet how many people understand this
intuitively! Many men and women make
this truth their own, coming to discern
that only in this truth do they encounter
"the Truth and the Life" (Jn
14:6). Without this truth, the life
of the spouses and of the family will
not succeed in attaining a fully human
meaning.
This is why the Church never tires
of teaching and of bearing witness to
this truth. While certainly showing
maternal understanding for the many
complex crisis situations in which families
are involved, as well as for the moral
frailty of every human being, the Church
is convinced that she must remain absolutely
faithful to the truth about human love
Otherwise she would betray herself.
To move away from this saving truth
would be to close "the eyes of
our hearts" (cf. Eph 1:18), which
instead should always stay open to the
light which the Gospel sheds on human
affairs (cf. 2 Tim 1:10). An awareness
of that sincere gift of self whereby
man "finds himself" must be
constantly renewed and safeguarded in
the face of the serious opposition which
the Church meets on the part of those
who advocate a false civilization of
progress.[30] The family always expresses
a new dimension of good for mankind,
and it thus creates a new responsibility.
We are speaking of the responsibility
for that particular common good in which
is included the good of the person,
of every member of the family community.
While certainly a "difficult"
good ("bonum arduum"), it
is also an attractive one.
RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD AND MOTHERHOOD
12. It is now time, in this
Letter to Families, to bring up two
closely related questions. The first,
more general, concerns the civilization
of love, the other, more specific, deals
with responsible fatherhood and motherhood.
We have already said that marriage
engenders a particular responsibility
for the common good, first of the spouses
and then of the family. This common
good is constituted by man, by the worth
of the person and by everything which
represents the measure of his dignity.
This reality is part of man in every
social, economic and political system.
In the area of marriage and the family,
this responsibility becomes, for a variety
of reasons, even more "demanding".
The Pastoral Constitution Gaudium et
Spes rightly speaks of "promoting
the dignity of marriage and the family".
The Council sees this "promotion"
as a duty incumbent upon both the Church
and the State. Nevertheless, in every
culture this duty remains primarily
that of the persons who, united in marriage,
form a particular family. "Responsible
fatherhood and motherhood" express
a concrete commitment to carry out this
duty, which has taken on new characteristics
in the contemporary world.
In particular, responsible fatherhood
and motherhood directly concern the
moment in which a man and a woman, uniting
themselves "in one flesh",
can become parents. This is a moment
of special value both for their interpersonal
relationship and for their service to
life: they can become parents--father
and mother-- by communicating life to
a new human being. The two dimensions
of conjugal union, the unitive and the
procreative, cannot be artificially
separated without damaging the deepest
truth of the conjugal act itself.[31]
This is the constant teaching of the
Church, and the "signs of the times"
which we see today are providing new
reasons for forcefully reaffirming that
teaching. Saint Paul, himself so attentive
to the pastoral demands of his day,
clearly and firmly indicated the need
to be "urgent in season and out
of season" (cf. 2 Tim 4:2), and
not to be daunted by the fact that "sound
teaching is no longer endured"
(cf. 2 Tim 4:3). His words are well
known to those who, with deep insight
into the events of the present time,
expect that the Church will not only
not abandon "sound doctrine",
but will proclaim it with renewed vigour,
seeking in today's "signs of the
times" the incentive and insights
which can lead to a deeper understanding
of her teaching.
Some of these insights can be taken
from the very sciences which have evolved
from the earlier study of anthropology
into various specialized sciences such
as biology, psychology, sociology and
their branches. In some sense all these
sciences revolve around medicine, which
is both a science and an art (ars medica),
at the service of man's life and health.
But the insights in question come first
of all from human experience, which,
in all its complexity, in some sense
both precedes science and follows it.
Through their own experience spouses
come to learn the meaning of responsible
fatherhood and motherhood. They learn
it also from the experience of other
couples in similar situations and as
they become more open to the findings
of the various sciences. One could say
that "experts" learn in a
certain sense from "spouses",
so that they in turn will then be in
a better position to teach married couples
the meaning of responsible procreation
and the ways to achieve it.
This subject has been extensively treated
in the documents of the Second Vatican
Council, the Encyclical Humanae Vitae,
the "Propositiones" of the
1980 Synod of Bishops, the Apostolic
Exhortation Familiaris Consortio, and
in other statements, up to the Instruction
Donum Vitae of the Congregation for
the Doctrine of the Faith. The Church
both teaches the moral truth about responsible
fatherhood and motherhood and protects
it from the erroneous views and tendencies
which are widespread today. Why does
the Church continue to do this? Is she
unaware of the problems raised by those
who counsel her to make concessions
in this area and who even attempt to
persuade her by undue pressures if not
even threats? The Church's Magisterium
is often chided for being behind the
times and closed to the promptings of
the spirit of modern times, and for
promoting a course of action which is
harmful to humanity, and indeed to the
Church herself. By obstinately holding
to her own positions, it is said, the
Church will end up losing popularity,
and more and more believers will turn
away from her.
But how can it be maintained that the
Church, especially the College of Bishops
in communion with the Pope, is insensitive
to such grave and pressing questions?
It was precisely these extremely important
questions which led Pope Paul VI to
publish the Encyclical Humanae Vitae.
The foundations of the Church's doctrine
concerning responsible fatherhood and
motherhood are exceptionally broad and
secure. The Council demonstrates this
above all in its teaching on man, when
it affirms that he is "the only
creature on earth which God willed for
itself", and that he cannot "fully
find himself except through a sincere
gift of himself".[32] This is so
because he has been created in the image
and likeness of God and redeemed by
the only-begotten Son of the Father,
who became man for us and for our salvation.
The Second Vatican Council, particularly
conscious of the problem of man and
his calling, states that the conjugal
union, the biblical "una caro",
can be understood and fully explained
only by recourse to the values of the
"person" and of "gift".
Every man and every woman fully realizes
himself or herself through the sincere
gift of self. For spouses, the moment
of conjugal union constitutes a very
particular expression of this. It is
then that a man and woman, in the "truth"
of their masculinity and femininity,
become a mutual gift to each other.
All married life is a gift; but this
becomes most evident when the spouses,
in giving themselves to each other in
love, bring about that encounter which
makes them "one flesh" (Gen
2:24).
They then experience a moment of special
responsibility, which is also the result
of the procreative potential linked
to the conjugal act. At that moment,
the spouses can become father and mother,
initiating the process of a new human
life, which will then develop in the
woman's womb. If the wife is the first
to realize that she has become a mother,
the husband, to whom she has been united
in "one flesh", then learns
this when she tells him that he has
become a father. Both are responsible
for their potential and later actual
fatherhood and motherhood. The husband
cannot fail to acknowledge and accept
the result of a decision which has also
been his own. He cannot hide behind
expressions such as: "I don't know",
"I didn't want it", or "you're
the one who wanted it". In every
case conjugal union involves the responsibility
of the man and of the woman, a potential
responsibility which becomes actual
when the circumstances dictate. This
is true especially for the man. Although
he too is involved in the beginning
of the generative process, he is left
biologically distant from it; it is
within the woman that the process develops.
How can the man fail to assume responsibility?
The man and the woman must assume together,
before themselves and before others,
the responsibility for the new life
which they have brought into existence.
This conclusion is shared by the human
sciences themselves. There is however
a need for more in-depth study, analyzing
the meaning of the conjugal act in view
of the values of the "person"
and of the "gift" mentioned
above. This is what the Church has done
in her constant teaching, and in a particular
way at the Second Vatican Council.
In the conjugal act, husband and wife
are called to confirm in a responsible
way the mutual gift of self which they
have made to each other in the marriage
covenant. The logic of the total gift
of self to the other involves a potential
openness to procreation: in this way
the marriage is called to even greater
fulfillment as a family. Certainly the
mutual gift of husband and wife does
not have the begetting of children as
its only end, but is in itself a mutual
communion of love and of life. The intimate
truth of this gift must always be safeguarded.
"Intimate" is not here synonymous
with "subjective". Rather,
it means essentially in conformity with
the objective truth of the man and woman
who give themselves. The person can
never be considered a means to an end;
above all never a means of "pleasure".
The person is and must be nothing other
than the end of every act. Only then
does the action correspond to the true
dignity of the person. In concluding
our reflection on this important and
sensitive subject, I wish to offer special
encouragement above all to you, dear
married couples, and to all who assist
you in understanding and putting into
practice the Church's teaching on marriage
and on responsible motherhood and fatherhood.
I am thinking in particular about pastors
and the many scholars, theologians,
philosophers, writers and journalists
who have resisted the powerful trend
to cultural conformity and are courageously
ready to "swim against the tide".
This encouragement also goes to an increasing
number of experts, physicians and educators
who are authentic lay apostles for whom
the promotion of the dignity of marriage
and the family has become an important
task in their lives. In the name of
the Church I express my gratitude to
all! What would priests, Bishops and
even the Successor of Peter be able
to do without you? From the first years
of my priesthood I have become increasingly
convinced of this, from when I began
to sit in the confessional to share
the concerns, fears and hopes of many
married couples. I met difficult cases
of rebellion and refusal, but at the
same time so many marvellously responsible
and generous persons! In writing this
Letter I have all those married couples
in mind, and I embrace them with my
affection and my prayer.
THE TWO CIVILIZATIONS
13. Dear families, the question
of responsible fatherhood and motherhood
is an integral part of the "civilization
of love", which I now wish to discuss
with you. From what has already been
said it is clear that the family is
fundamental to what Pope Paul VI called
the "civilization of love",[33]
an expression which has entered the
teaching of the Church and by now has
become familiar. Today it is difficult
to imagine a statement by the Church,
or about the Church, which does not
mention the civilization of love. The
phrase is linked to the tradition of
the "domestic church" in early
Christianity, but it has a particular
significance for the present time. Etymologically
the word "civilization" is
derived from "civis" - "citizen",
and it emphasizes the civic or political
dimension of the life of every individual.
But the most profound meaning of the
term "civilization" is not
merely political, but rather pertains
to human culture. Civilization belongs
to human history because it answers
man's spiritual and moral needs. Created
in the image and likeness of God, man
has received the world from the hands
of the Creator, together with the task
of shaping it in his own image and likeness.
The fulfillment of this task gives rise
to civilization, which in the final
analysis is nothing else than the "humanization
of the world".
In a certain sense civilization means
the same thing as "culture".
And so one could also speak of the "culture
of love", even though it is preferable
to keep to the now familiar expression.
The civilization of love, in its current
meaning, is inspired by the words of
the conciliar Constitution Gaudium et
Spes: "Christ... fully discloses
man to himself and unfolds his noble
calling".[34] And so we can say
that the civilization of love originates
in the revelation of the God who "is
love", as John writes (1 Jn 4:8,
16); it is effectively described by
Paul in the hymn of charity found in
his First Letter to the Corinthians
(13:1-13). This civilization is intimately
linked to the love "poured into
our hearts through the Holy Spirit which
has been given to us" (Rom 5:5),
and it grows as a result of the constant
cultivation which the Gospel allegory
of the vine and the branches describes
in such a direct way: "I am the
true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.
Every branch of mine that bears no fruit,
he takes away, and every branch that
does bear fruit he prunes, that it may
bear more fruit" (Jn 15:1-2).
In the light of these and other texts
of the New Testament it is possible
to understand what is meant by the "civilization
of love", and why the family is
organically linked to this civilization.
If the first "way of the Church"
is the family, it should also be said
that the civilization of love is also
the "way of the Church", which
journeys through the world and summons
families to this way; it summons also
other social, national and international
institutions, because of families and
through families. The family in fact
depends for several reasons on the civilization
of love, and finds therein the reasons
for its existence as family. And at
the same time the family is the centre
and the heart of the civilization of
love.
Yet there is no true love without an
awareness that God "is Love"
and that man is the only creature on
earth which God has called into existence
"for its own sake". Created
in the image and likeness of God, man
cannot fully "find him- self"
except through the sincere gift of self.
Without such a concept of man, of the
person and the "communion of persons"
in the family, there can be no civilization
of love; similarly, without the civilization
of love it is impossible to have such
a concept of person and of the communion
of persons. The family constitutes the
fundamental "cell" of society.
But Christ--the "vine" from
which the "branches" draw
nourishment--is needed so that this
cell will not be exposed to the threat
of a kind of cultural uprooting which
can come both from within and from without.
Indeed, although there is on the one
hand the "civilization of love",
there continues to exist on the other
hand the possibility of a destructive
"anti-civilization", as so
many present trends and situations confirm.
Who can deny that our age is one marked
by a great crisis, which appears above
all as a profound "crisis of truth"?
A crisis of truth means, in the first
place, a crisis of concepts. Do the
words "love", "freedom",
"sincere gift", and even "person"
and "rights of the person",
really convey their essential meaning?
This is why the Encyclical on the "splendour
of truth" (Veritatis Splendor)
has proved so meaningful and important
for the Church and for the world--especially
in the West. Only if the truth about
freedom and the communion of persons
in marriage and in the family can regain
its splendour, will the building of
the civilization of love truly begin
and will it then be possible to speak
concretely--as the Council did--about
"promoting the dignity of marriage
and the family".[35]
Why is the "splendour of truth"
so important? First of all, by way of
contrast: the development of contemporary
civilization is linked to a scientific
and technological progress which is
often achieved in a one-sided way, and
thus appears purely positivistic. Positivism,
as we know, results in agnosticism in
theory and utilitarianism in practice
and in ethics. In our own day, history
is in a way repeating itself. Utilitarianism
is a civilization of production and
of use, a civilization of "things"
and not of "persons", a civilization
in which persons are used in the same
way as things are used. In the context
of a civilization of use, woman can
become an object for man, children a
hindrance to parents, the family an
institution obstructing the freedom
of its members. To be convinced that
this is the case, one need only look
at certain sexual education programmes
introduced into the schools, often notwithstanding
the disagreement and even the protests
of many parents; or pro- abortion tendencies
which vainly try to hide behind the
so- called "right to choose"
("pro-choice") on the part
of both spouses, and in particular on
the part of the woman. These are only
two examples; many more could be mentioned.
It is evident that in this sort of
a cultural situation the family cannot
fail to feel threatened, since it is
endangered at its very foundations.
Everything contrary to the civilization
of love is contrary to the whole truth
about man and becomes a threat to him:
it does not allow him to find himself
and to feel secure, as spouse, parent,
or child. So-called "safe sex",
which is touted by the "civilization
of technology", is actually, in
view of the overall requirements of
the person, radically not safe, indeed
it is extremely dangerous. It endangers
both the person and the family. And
what is this danger? It is the loss
of the truth about one's own self and
about the family, together with the
risk of a loss of freedom and consequently
of a loss of love itself. "You
will know the truth", Jesus says,
"and the truth will make you free"
(Jn 8:32): the truth, and only the truth,
will prepare you for a love which can
be called "fairest love" (cf.
Sir 24:24, Vulg.).
The contemporary family, like families
in every age, is searching for "fairest
love". A love which is not "fairest",
but reduced only to the satisfaction
of concupiscence (cf. 1 Jn 2:16), or
to a man's and a woman's mutual "use"
of each other, makes persons slaves
to their weaknesses. Do not certain
modern "cultural agendas"
lead to this enslavement? There are
agendas which "play" on man's
weaknesses, and thus make him increasingly
weak and defenceless.
The civilization of love evokes joy:
joy, among other things, for the fact
that a man has come into the world (cf.
Jn 16:21), and consequently because
spouses have become parents. The civilization
of love means "rejoicing in the
right" (cf. 1 Cor 13:6). But a
civilization inspired by a consumerist,
anti-birth mentality is not and cannot
ever be a civilization of love. If the
family is so important for the civilization
of love, it is because of the particular
closeness and intensity of the bonds
which come to be between persons and
generations within the family. However,
the family remains vulnerable and can
easily fall prey to dangers which weaken
it or actually destroy its unity and
stability. As a result of these dangers
families cease to be witnesses of the
civilization of love and can even become
a negation of it, a kind of counter-sign.
A broken family can, for its part, consolidate
a specific form of "anti-civilization",
destroying love in its various expressions,
with inevitable consequences for the
whole of life in society.
LOVE IS DEMANDING
14. The love which the Apostle
Paul celebrates in the First Letter
to the Corinthians--the love which is
"patient" and "kind",
and "endures all things" (1
Cor 13:4, 7)--is certainly a demanding
love. But this is precisely the source
of its beauty: by the very fact that
it is demanding, it builds up the true
good of man and allows it to radiate
to others. The good, says Saint Thomas,
is by its nature "diffusive".[36]
Love is true when it creates the good
of persons and of communities; it creates
that good and gives it to others. Only
the one who is able to be demanding
with himself in the name of love can
also demand love from others. Love is
demanding. It makes demands in all human
situations; it is even more demanding
in the case of those who are open to
the Gospel. Is this not what Christ
proclaims in "his" commandment?
Nowadays people need to rediscover this
demanding love, for it is the truly
firm foundation of the family, a foundation
able to "endure all things".
According to the Apostle, love is not
able to "endure all things"
if it yields to "jealousies",
or if it is "boastful... arrogant
or rude" (cf. 1 Cor 13:5-6). True
love, Saint Paul teaches, is different:
"Love believes all things, hopes
all things, endures all things"
(1 Cor 13:7). This is the very love
which "endures all things".
At work within it is the power and strength
of God himself, who "is love"
(1 Jn 4:8, 16). At work within it is
also the power and strength of Christ,
the Redeemer of man and Saviour of the
world.
Meditating on the thirteenth chapter
of the First Letter of Paul to the Corinthians,
we set out on a path which leads us
to understand quickly and clearly the
full truth about the civilization of
love. No other biblical text expresses
this truth so simply and so profoundly
as the hymn to love.
The dangers faced by love are also
dangers for the civilization of love,
because they promote everything capable
of effectively opposing it. Here one
thinks first of all of selfishness,
not only the selfishness of individuals,
but also of couples or, even more broadly,
of social selfishness, that for example
of a class or nation (nationalism).
Selfishness in all its forms is directly
and radically opposed to the civilization
of love. But is love to be defined simply
as "anti-selfishness"? This
would be a very impoverished and ultimately
a purely negative definition, even though
it is true that different forms of selfishness
must be overcome in order to realize
love and the civilization of love. It
would be more correct to speak of "altruism",
which is the opposite of selfishness.
But far richer and more complete is
the concept of love illustrated by Saint
Paul. The hymn to love in the First
Letter to the Corinthians remains the
Magna Charta of the civilization of
love. In this concept, what is important
is not so much individual actions (whether
selfish or altruistic), so much as the
radical acceptance of the understanding
of man as a person who "finds himself"
by making a sincere gift of self. A
gift is, obviously, "for others":
this is the most important dimension
of the civilization of love.
We thus come to the very heart of the
Gospel truth about freedom. The person
realizes himself by the exercise of
freedom in truth. Freedom cannot be
understood as a license to do absolutely
anything: it means a gift of self. Even
more: it means an interior discipline
of the gift. The idea of gift contains
not only the free initiative of the
subject, but also the aspect of duty.
All this is made real in the "communion
of persons". We find ourselves
again at the very heart of each family.
Continuing this line of thought, we
also come upon the antithesis between
individualism and personalism. Love,
the civilization of love, is bound up
with personalism. Why with personalism?
And why does individualism threaten
the civilization of love? We find a
key to answering this in the Council's
expression, a "sincere gift".
Individualism presupposes a use of freedom
in which the subject does what he wants,
in which he himself is the one to "establish
the truth" of whatever he finds
pleasing or useful. He does not tolerate
the fact that someone else "wants"
or demands something from him in the
name of an objective truth. He does
not want to "give" to another
on the basis of truth; he does not want
to become a "sincere gift".
Individualism thus remains egocentric
and selfish. The real antithesis between
individualism and personalism emerges
not only on the level of theory, but
even more on that of "ethos".
The "ethos" of personalism
is altruistic: it moves the person to
become a gift for others and to discover
joy of giving himself. This is the joy
about which Christ speaks (cf. Jn 15:11;
16:20, 22).
What is needed then is for human societies,
and the families who live within them,
often in a context of struggle between
the civilization of love and its opposites,
to seek their solid foundation in a
correct vision of man and of everything
which determines the full "realization"
of his humanity. Opposed to the civilization
of love is certainly the phenomenon
of so-called "free love";
this is particularly dangerous because
it is usually suggested as a way of
following one's "real" feelings,
but it is in fact destructive of love.
How many families have been ruined because
of "free love"! To follow
in every instance a "real"
emotional impulse by invoking a love
"liberated" from all conditionings,
means nothing more than to make the
individual a slave to those human instincts
which Saint Thomas calls "passions
of the soul".[37] "Free love"
exploits human weaknesses; it gives
them a certain "veneer" of
respectability with the help of seduction
and the blessing of public opinion.
In this way there is an attempt to "soothe"
consciences by creating a "moral
alibi". But not all of the consequences
are taken into consideration, especially
when the ones who end up paying are,
apart from the other spouse, the children,
deprived of a father or mother and condemned
to be in fact orphans of living parents.
As we know, at the foundation of ethical
utilitarianism there is the continual
quest for "maximum" happiness.
But this is a "utilitarian happiness",
seen only as pleasure, as immediate
gratification for the exclusive benefit
of the individual, apart from or opposed
to the objective demands of the true
good.
The programme of utilitarianism, based
on an individualistic understanding
of freedom--a freedom without responsibilities-is
the opposite of love, even as an expression
of human civilization considered as
a whole. When this concept of freedom
is embraced by society, and quickly
allies itself with varied forms of human
weakness, it soon proves a systematic
and permanent threat to the family.
In this regard, one could mention many
dire consequences, which can be statistically
verified, even though a great number
of them are hidden in the hearts of
men and women like painful, fresh wounds.
The love of spouses and parents has
the capacity to cure these kinds of
wounds, provided the dangers alluded
to do not deprive it of its regenerative
force, which is so beneficial and wholesome
a thing for human communities. This
capacity depends on the divine grace
of forgiveness and reconciliation, which
always ensures the spiritual energy
to begin anew. For this very reason
family members need to encounter Christ
in the Church through the wonderful
Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation.
In this context, we can realize how
important prayer is with families and
for families, in particular for those
threatened by division. We need to pray
that married couples will love their
vocation, even when the road becomes
difficult, or the paths become narrow,
uphill and seemingly insuperable; we
need to pray that, even then, they will
be faithful to their covenant with God.
"The family is the way of the
Church". In this Letter we wish
both to profess and to proclaim this
way, which leads to the kingdom of heaven
(cf. Mt 7:14) through conjugal and family
life. It is important that the "communion
of persons" in the family should
become a preparation for the "communion
of Saints". This is why the Church
both believes and proclaims the love
which "endures all things"
(1 Cor 13:7); with Saint Paul she sees
in it "the greatest" virtue
of all (cf. 1 Cor 13:13). The Apostle
puts no limits on anyone. Everyone is
called to love, including spouses and
families. In the Church everyone is
called equally to perfect holiness (cf.
Mt 5:48).[38]
THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT: "HONOUR
YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER"
15. The fourth commandment of
the Decalogue deals with the family
and its interior unity--its solidarity,
we could say.
In its formulation, the fourth commandment
does not explicitly mention the family.
In fact, however, this is its real subject
matter. In order to bring out the communion
between generations, the divine Legislator
could find no more appropriate word
than this: "Honour..." (Ex
20:12). Here we meet another way of
expressing what the family is. This
formulation does not exalt the family
in some "artificial" way,
but emphasizes its subjectivity and
the rights flowing from it. The family
is a community of particularly intense
interpersonal relationships: between
spouses, between parents and children,
between generations. It is a community
which must be safeguarded in a special
way. And God cannot find a better safeguard
than this: "Honour".
"Honour your father and your mother,
that your days may be long in the land
which the Lord your God gives to you"
(Ex 20:12). This commandment comes after
the three basic precepts which concern
the relation of the individual and the
people of Israel with God: "Shema,
Izrael...", "Hear, O Israel:
the Lord our God is one Lord" (Dt
6:4). "You will have no other gods
before me" (Ex 20:3). This is the
first and greatest commandment, the
commandment of love for God "above
all else": God is to be loved "with
all your heart, and with all your soul,
and with all your might" (Dt 6:5;
cf. Mt 22:37). It is significant that
the fourth commandment is placed in
this particular context. "Honour
your father and your mother", because
for you they are in a certain sense
representatives of the Lord; they are
the ones who gave you life, who introduced
you to human existence in a particular
family line, nation and culture. After
God, they are your first benefactors.
While God alone is good, indeed the
Good itself, parents participate in
this supreme goodness in a unique way.
And so, honour your parents! There is
a certain analogy here with the worship
owed to God.
The fourth commandment is closely linked
to the commandment of love. The bond
between "honour" and "love"
is a deep one. Honour, at its very centre,
is connected with the virtue of justice,
but the latter, for its part, cannot
be explained fully without reference
to love: the love of God and of one's
neighbour. And who is more of a neighbour
than one's own family members, parents
and children?
Is the system of interpersonal relations
indicated by the fourth commandment
one-sided? Does it bind us only to honour
our parents? Taken literally, it does.
But indirectly we can speak of the "honour"
owed to children by their parents. "To
honour" means to acknowledge! We
could put it this way: "let yourself
be guided by the firm acknowledgment
of the person, first of all that of
your father and mother, and then that
of the other members of the family".
Honour is essentially an attitude of
unselfishness. It could be said that
it is "a sincere gift of person
to person", and in that sense honour
converges with love. If the fourth commandment
demands that honour should be shown
to our father and mother, it also makes
this demand out of concern for the good
of the family. Precisely for this reason,
however, it makes demands of the parents
themselves. You parents, the divine
precept seems to say, should act in
such a way that your life will merit
the honour (and the love) of your children!
Do not let the divine command that you
be honoured fall into a moral vacuum!
Ultimately then we are speaking of mutual
honour. The commandment "honour
your father and your mother" indirectly
tells parents: Honour your sons and
your daughters. They deserve this because
they are alive, because they are who
they are, and this is true from the
first moment of their conception. The
fourth commandment then, by expressing
the intimate bonds uniting the family,
highlights the basis of its inner unity.
The commandment goes on to say: "that
your days may be long in the land which
the Lord your God gives you". The
conjunction "that" might give
the impression of an almost "utilitarian"
calculation: honour them so that you
will have a long life. In any event,
this does not lessen the fundamental
meaning of the imperative "honour",
which by its nature suggests an attitude
of unselfishness. To honour never means:
"calculate the benefits".
It is difficult, on the other hand,
not to acknowledge the fact that an
attitude of mutual honour among members
of the family community also brings
certain advantages. "Honour"
is certainly something useful, just
as every true good is "useful".
In the first place, the family achieves
the good of "being together".
This is the good par excellence of marriage
(hence its indissolubility) and of the
family community. It could also be defined
as a good of the subject as such. Just
as the person is a subject, so too is
the family, since it is made up of persons,
who, joined together by a profound bond
of communion, form a single communal
subject. Indeed, the family is more
a subject than any other social institution:
more so than the nation or the State,
more so than society and international
organizations. These societies, especially
nations, possess a proper subjectivity
to the extent that they receive it from
persons and their families. Are all
these merely "theoretical"
observations, formulated for the purpose
of "exalting" the family before
public opinion? No, but they are another
way of expressing what the family is.
And this too can be deduced from the
fourth commandment.
This truth deserves to be emphasized
and more deeply understood: indeed it
brings out the importance of the fourth
commandment for the modern system of
human rights. Institutions and legal
systems employ juridical language But
God says: "honour". All "human
rights" are ultimately fragile
and ineffective, if at their root they
lack the command to "honour";
in other words, if they lack an acknowledgment
of the individual simply because he
is an individual, "this" individual.
Of themselves, rights are not enough.
It is not an exaggeration to reaffirm
that the life of nations, of states,
and of international organizations "passes"
through the family and "is based"
on the fourth commandment of the Decalogue.
The age in which we live, notwithstanding
the many juridical Declarations which
have been drafted, is still threatened
to a great extent by "alienation".
This is the result of "Enlightenment"
premises according to which a man is
"more" human if he is "only"
human. It is not difficult to notice
how alienation from everything belonging
in various ways to the full richness
of man threatens our times. And this
affects the family. Indeed, the affirmation
of the person is in great measure to
be referred back to the family and consequently
to the fourth commandment. In God's
plan the family is in many ways the
first school of how to be human. Be
human! This is the imperative passed
on in the family--human as the son or
daughter of one's country, a citizen
of the State, and, we would say today,
a citizen of the world. The God who
gave humanity the fourth commandment
is "benevolent" towards man
(philanthropos, as the Greeks said).
The Creator of the universe is the God
of love and of life: he wants man to
have life and have it abundantly, as
Christ proclaims (cf. Jn 10:10); that
he may have life, first of all thanks
to the family.
At this point it seems clear that the
"civilization of love" is
strictly bound up with the family. For
many people the Civilization of love
is still a pure utopia. Indeed, there
are those who think that love cannot
be demanded from anyone and that it
cannot be imposed: love should be a
free choice which people can take or
leave.
There is some truth in all this. And
yet there is always the fact that Jesus
Christ left us the commandment of love,
just as God on Mount Sinai ordered:
"Honour your father and your mother".
Love then is not a utopia: it is given
to mankind as a task to be carried out
with the help of divine grace. It is
entrusted to man and woman, in the Sacrament
of Matrimony, as the basic principle
of their "duty", and it becomes
the foundation of their mutual responsibility:
first as spouses, then as father and
mother. In the celebration of the Sacrament,
the spouses give and receive each other,
declaring their willingness to welcome
children and to educate them. On this
hinges human civilization, which cannot
be defined as anything other than a
"civilization of love".
The family is an expression and source
of this love. Through the family passes
the primary current of the civilization
of love, which finds therein its "social
foundations".
The Fathers of the Church, in the Christian
tradition, have spoken of the family
as a "domestic church", a
"little church". They thus
referred to the civilization of love
as a possible system of human life and
coexistence: "to be together"
as a family, to be for one another,
to make room in a community for affirming
each person as such, for affirming "this"
individual person. At times it is a
matter of people with physical or psychological
handicaps, of whom the so-called "progressive"
society would prefer to be free. Even
the family can end up like this kind
of society. It does so when it hastily
rids itself of people who are aged,
disabled or sick. This happens when
there is a loss of faith in that God
for whom "all live" (cf. Lk
20:38) and are called to the fullness
of Life.
Yes, the civilization of love is possible;
it is not a utopia. But it is only possible
by a constant and ready reference to
the "Father from whom all fatherhood
[and motherhood] on earth is named"
(cf. Eph 3:14-15), from whom every human
family comes.
EDUCATION
16. What is involved in raising
children? In answering this question
two fundamental truths should be kept
in mind: first, that man is called to
live in truth and love; and second,
that everyone finds fulfillment through
the sincere gift of self. This is true
both for the educator and for the one
being educated. Education is thus a
unique process for which the mutual
communion of persons has immense importance.
The educator is a person who "begets"
in a spiritual sense. From this point
of view, raising children can be considered
a genuine apostolate. It is a living
means of communication, which not only
creates a profound relationship between
the educator and the one being educated,
but also makes them both sharers in
truth and love, that final goal to which
everyone is called by God the Father,
Son and Holy Spirit.
Fatherhood and motherhood presume the
coexistence and interaction of autonomous
subjects. This is quite evident in the
case of the mother when she conceives
a new human being. The first months
of the child's presence in the mother's
womb bring about a particular bond which
already possesses an educational significance
of its own. The mother, even before
giving birth, does not only give shape
to the child's body, but also, in an
indirect way, to the child's whole personality.
Even though we are speaking about a
process in which the mother primarily
affects the child, we should not overlook
the unique influence that the unborn
child has on its mother. In this mutual
influence which will be revealed to
the outside world following the birth
of the child, the father does not have
a direct part to play. But he should
be responsibly committed to providing
attention and support throughout the
pregnancy and, if possible, at the moment
of birth.
For the "civilization of love"
it is essential that the husband should
recognize that the motherhood of his
wife is a gift: this is enormously important
for the entire process of raising children.
Much will depend on his willingness
to take his own part in this first stage
of the gift of humanity, and to become
willingly involved as a husband and
father in the motherhood of his wife.
Education then is before all else a
reciprocal "offering" on the
part of both parents: together they
communicate their own mature humanity
to the newborn child, who gives them
in turn the newness and freshness of
the humanity which it has brought into
the world. This is the case even when
children are born with mental or physical
disabilities. Here, the situation of
the children can enhance the very special
courage needed to raise them.
With good reason, then, the Church
asks during the Rite of Marriage: "Will
you accept children lovingly from God,
and bring them up according to the law
of Christ and his Church"?[39]
In the raising of children conjugal
love is expressed as authentic parental
love. The "communion of persons",
expressed as conjugal love at the beginning
of the family, is thus completed and
brought to fulfillment in the raising
of children. Every individual born and
raised in a family constitutes a potential
treasure which must be responsibly accepted,
so that it will not be diminished or
lost, but will rather come to an ever
more mature humanity. This too is a
process of exchange in which the parents-educators
are in turn to a certain degree educated
themselves. While they are teachers
of humanity for their own children,
they learn humanity from them. All this
clearly brings out the organic structure
of the family, and reveals the fundamental
meaning of the fourth commandment.
In rearing children, the "we"
of the parents, of husband and wife,
develops into the "we" of
the family, which is grafted on to earlier
generations, and is open to gradual
expansion. In this regard both grandparents
and grandchildren play their own individual
roles.
If it is true that by giving life parents
share in God's creative work, it is
also true that by raising their children
they become sharers in his paternal
and at the same time maternal way of
teaching. According to Saint Paul, God's
fatherhood is the primordial model of
all fatherhood and motherhood in the
universe (cf. Eph 3:14-15), and of human
motherhood and fatherhood in particular.
We have been completely instructed in
God's own way of teaching by the eternal
Word of the Father who, by becoming
man, revealed to man the authentic and
integral greatness of his humanity,
that is, being a child of God. In this
way he also revealed the true meaning
of human education. Through Christ all
education, within the family and outside
of it, becomes part of God's own saving
pedagogy, which is addressed to individuals
and families and culminates in the Paschal
Mystery of the Lord's Death and Resurrection.
The "heart" of our redemption
is the starting-point of every process
of Christian education, which is likewise
always an education to a full humanity.
Parents are the first and most important
educators of their own children, and
they also possess a fundamental competence
in this area: they are educators because
they are parents. They share their educational
mission with other individuals or institutions,
such as the Church and the State. But
the mission of education must always
be carried out in accordance with a
proper application of the principle
of subsidiarity. This implies the legitimacy
and indeed the need of giving assistance
to the parents, but finds its intrinsic
and absolute limit in their prevailing
right and their actual capabilities.
The principle of subsidiarity is thus
at the service of parental love, meeting
the good of the family unit. For parents
by themselves are not capable of satisfying
every requirement of the whole process
of raising children, especially in matters
concerning their schooling and the entire
gamut of socialization. Subsidiarity
thus complements paternal and maternal
love and confirms its fundamental nature,
inasmuch as all other participants in
the process of education are only able
to carry out their responsibilities
in the name of the parents, with their
consent and, to a certain degree, with
their authorization.
The process of education ultimately
leads to the phase of self- education,
which occurs when the individual, after
attaining an appropriate level of psycho-physical
maturity, begins to "educate himself
on his own". In time, self-education
goes beyond the earlier results achieved
by the educational process, in which
it continues to be rooted. An adolescent
is exposed to new people and new surroundings,
particularly teachers and classmates,
who exercise an influence over his life
which can be either helpful or harmful.
At this stage he distances himself somewhat
from the education received in the family,
assuming at times a critical attitude
with regard to his parents. Even so,
the process of self-education cannot
fail to be marked by the educational
influence which the family and school
have on children and adolescents. Even
when they grow up and set out on their
own path, young people remain intimately
linked to their existential roots.
Against this background, we can see
the meaning of the fourth commandment,
"Honour your father and your mother"
(Ex 20:12) in a new way. It is closely
linked to the whole process of education.
Fatherhood and motherhood, this first
and basic fact in the gift of humanity,
open up before both parents and children
new and profound perspectives. To give
birth according to the flesh means to
set in motion a further "birth",
one which is gradual and complex and
which continues in the whole process
of education. The commandment of the
Decalogue calls for a child to honour
its father and mother. But, as we saw
above, that same commandment enjoins
upon parents a kind of corresponding
or "symmetrical" duty. Parents
are also called to "honour"
their children, whether they are young
or old. This attitude is needed throughout
the process of their education, including
the time of their schooling. The "principle
of giving honour", the recognition
and respect due to man precisely because
he is a man, is the basic condition
for every authentic educational process.
In the sphere of education the Church
has a specific role to play. In the
light of Tradition and the teaching
of the Council, it can be said that
it is not only a matter of entrusting
the Church with the person's religious
and moral education, but of promoting
the entire process of the person's education
"together with" the Church.
The family is called to carry out its
task of education in the Church, thus
sharing in her life and mission. The
Church wishes to carry out her educational
mission above all through families who
are made capable of undertaking this
task by the Sacrament of Matrimony,
through the "grace of state"
which follows from it and the specific
"charism" proper to the entire
family community.
Certainly one area in which the family
has an irreplaceable role is that of
religious education, which enables the
family to grow as a "domestic church".
Religious education and the catechesis
of children make the family a true subject
of evangelization and the apostolate
within the Church. We are speaking of
a right intrinsically linked to the
principle of religious liberty. Families,
and more specifically parents, are free
to choose for their children a particular
kind of religious and moral education
consonant with their own convictions.
Even when they entrust these responsibilities
to ecclesiastical institutions or to
schools administered by religious personnel,
their educational presence ought to
continue to be constant and active.
Within the context of education, due
attention must be paid to the essential
question of choosing a vocation, and
here in particular that of preparing
for marriage. The Church has made notable
efforts to promote marriage preparation,
for example by offering courses for
engaged couples. All this is worthwhile
and necessary. But it must not be forgotten
that preparing for future life as a
couple is above all the task of the
family. To be sure, only spiritually
mature families can adequately assume
that responsibility. Hence we should
point out the need for a special solidarity
among families. This can be expressed
in various practical ways, as for example
by associations of families for families.
The institution of the family is strengthened
by such expressions of solidarity, which
bring together not only individuals
but also communities, with a commitment
to pray together and to seek together
the answers to life's essential questions.
Is this not an invaluable expression
of the apostolate of families to one
another? It is important that families
attempt to build bonds of solidarity
among themselves. This allows them to
assist each other in the educational
enterprise: parents are educated by
other parents, and children by other
children. Thus a particular tradition
of education is created, which draws
strength from the character of the "domestic
church" proper to the family.
The gospel of love is the inexhaustible
source of all that nourishes the human
family as a "communion of persons".
In love the whole educational process
finds its support and definitive meaning
as the mature fruit of the parents'
mutual gift. Through the efforts, sufferings
and disappointments which are part of
every person's education, love is constantly
being put to the test. To pass the test,
a source of spiritual strength is necessary.
This is only found in the One who "loved
to the end" (Jn 13:1). Thus education
is fully a part of the "civilization
of love". It depends on the civilization
of love and, in great measure, contributes
to its upbuilding.
The Church's constant and trusting
prayer during the Year of the Family
is for the education of man, so that
families will persevere in their task
of education with courage, trust and
hope, in spite of difficulties occasionally
so serious as to appear insuperable.
The Church prays that the forces of
the "civilization of love",
which have their source in the love
of God, will be triumphant. These are
forces which the Church ceaselessly
expends for the good of the whole human
family.
FAMILY AND SOCIETY
17. The family is a community
of persons and the smallest social unit.
As such it is an institution fundamental
to the life of every society.
What does the family as an institution
expect from society? First of all, it
expects a recognition of its identity
and an acceptance of its status as a
subject in society. This "social
subjectivity" is bound up with
the proper identity of marriage and
the family. Marriage, which undergirds
the institution of the family, is constituted
by the covenant whereby "a man
and a woman establish between themselves
a partnership of their whole life",
and which "of its own very nature
is ordered to the well-being of the
spouses and to the procreation and upbringing
of children".[40] Only such a union
can be recognized and ratified as a
"marriage" in society. Other
interpersonal unions which do not fulfil
the above conditions cannot be recognized,
despite certain growing trends which
represent a serious threat to the future
of the family and of society itself.
No human society can run the risk of
permissiveness in fundamental issues
regarding the nature of marriage and
the family! Such moral permissiveness
cannot fail to damage the authentic
requirements of peace and communion
among people. It is thus quite understandable
why the Church vigorously defends the
identity of the family and encourages
responsible individuals and institutions,
especially political leaders and international
organizations, not to yield to the temptation
of a superficial and false modernity.
As a community of love and life, the
family is a firmly grounded social reality.
It is also, in a way entirely its own,
a sovereign society, albeit conditioned
in certain ways. This affirmation of
the family's sovereignty as an institution
and the recognition of the various ways
in which it is conditioned naturally
leads to the subject of family rights.
In this regard, the Holy See published
in 1983 the Charter of the Rights of
the Family; even today this document
has lost none of its relevance.
The rights of the family are closely
linked to the rights of the person:
if in fact the family is a communion
of persons, its self- realization will
depend in large part on the correct
application of the rights of its members.
Some of these rights concern the family
in an immediate way, such as the right
of parents to responsible procreation
and the education of children. Other
rights however touch the family unit
only indirectly: among these, the right
to property, especially to what is called
family property, and the right to work
are of special importance.
But the rights of the family are not
simply the sum total of the rights of
the person, since the family is much
more than the sum of its individual
members. It is a community of parents
and children, and at times a community
of several generations. For this reason
its "status as a subject",
which is grounded in God's plan, gives
rise to and calls for certain proper
and specific rights. The Charter of
the Rights of the Family, on the basis
of the moral principles mentioned above,
consolidates the existence of the institution
of the family in the social and juridical
order of the "greater" society--those
of the nation, of the State and of international
communities. Each of these "greater"
societies is at least indirectly conditioned
by the existence of the family. As a
result, the definition of the rights
and duties of the "greater"
society with regard to the family is
an extremely important and even essential
issue.
In the first place there is the almost
organic link existing between the family
and the nation. Naturally we cannot
speak in all cases about a nation in
the proper sense. Ethnic groups still
exist which, without being able to be
considered true nations, do fulfil to
some extent the function of a "greater"
society. In both cases, the link of
the family with the ethnic group or
the nation is founded above all on a
participation in its culture. In one
sense, parents also give birth to children
for the nation, so that they can be
members of it and can share in its historic
and cultural heritage. From the very
outset the identity of the family is
to some extent shaped by the identity
of the nation to which it belongs.
By sharing in the nation's cultural
heritage, the family contributes to
that specific sovereignty, which has
its origin in a distinct culture and
language. I addressed this subject at
the UNESCO Conference meeting in Paris
in 1980, and, given its unquestionable
importance, I have often returned to
it. Not only the nations, but every
family realizes its spiritual sovereignty
through culture and language. Were this
not true, it would be very difficult
to explain many events in the history
of peoples, especially in Europe. From
these events, ancient and modern, inspiring
and painful, glorious and humiliating,
it becomes clear how much the family
is an organic part of the nation, and
the nation of the family.
In regard to the State, the link with
the family is somewhat similar and at
the same time somewhat dissimilar. The
State, in fact, is distinct from the
nation; it has a less "family-like"
structure, since it is organized in
accordance with a political system and
in a more "bureaucratic" fashion.
Nonetheless, the apparatus of the State
also has, in some sense, a "soul"
of its own, to the extent that it lives
up to its nature as a "political
community" juridically ordered
towards the common good.[41] Closely
linked to this "soul" is the
family, which is connected with the
State precisely by reason of the principle
of subsidiarity. Indeed, the family
is a social reality which does not have
readily available all the means necessary
to carry out its proper ends, also in
matters regarding schooling and the
rearing of children. The State is thus
called upon to play a role in accordance
with the principle mentioned above.
Whenever the family is self-sufficient,
it should be left to act on its own;
an excessive intrusiveness on the part
of the State would prove detrimental,
to say nothing of lacking due respect,
and would constitute an open violation
of the rights of the family. Only in
those situations where the family is
not really self-sufficient does the
State have the authority and duty to
intervene.
Beyond child-rearing and schooling
at all levels, State assistance, while
not excluding private initiatives, can
find expression in institutions such
as those founded to safeguard the life
and health of citizens, and in particular
to provide social benefits for workers.
Unemployment is today one of the most
serious threats to family life and a
rightful cause of concern to every society.
It represents a challenge for the political
life of individual States and an area
for careful study in the Church's social
doctrine. It is urgently necessary,
therefore, to come up with courageous
solutions capable of looking beyond
the confines of one's own nation and
taking into consideration the many families
for whom lack of employment means living
in situations of tragic poverty.[42]
While speaking about employment in
reference to the family, it is appropriate
to emphasize how important and burdensome
is the work women do within the family
unit:[43] that work should be acknowledged
and deeply appreciated. The "toil"
of a woman who, having given birth to
a child, nourishes and cares for that
child and devotes herself to its upbringing,
particularly in the early years, is
so great as to be comparable to any
professional work. This ought to be
clearly stated and upheld, no less than
any other labour right. Motherhood,
because of all the hard work it entails,
should be recognized as giving the right
to financial benefits at least equal
to those of other kinds of work undertaken
in order to support the family during
such a delicate phase of its life.
Every effort should be made so that
the family will be recognized as the
primordial and, in a certain sense "sovereign"
society! The "sovereignty"
of the family is essential for the good
of society. A truly sovereign and spiritually
vigorous nation is always made up of
strong families who are aware of their
vocation and mission in history. The
family is at the heart of all these
problems and tasks. To relegate it to
a subordinate or secondary role, excluding
it from its rightful position in society,
would be to inflict grave harm on the
authentic growth of society as a whole.
II. THE BRIDEGROOM IS WITH YOU
AT CANA IN GALILEE
18. Engaged in conversation
with John's disciples one day, Jesus
speaks of a wedding invitation and the
presence of the bridegroom among the
guests: "the Bridegroom is with
them" (Mt 9:15). In this way he
indicated the fulfillment in his own
person of the image of God the Bridegroom,
which had already been used in the Old
Testament, in order to reveal fully
the mystery of God as the mystery of
Love.
By describing himself as a "Bridegroom",
Jesus reveals the essence of God and
confirms his immense love for mankind.
But the choice of this image also throws
light indirectly on the profound truth
of spousal love. Indeed by using this
image in order to speak about God, Jesus
shows to what extent the fatherhood
and the love of God are reflected in
the love of a man and a woman united
in marriage. Hence, at the beginning
of his mission, we find Jesus at Cana
in Galilee, taking part in a wedding
banquet, together with Mary and with
the first disciples (cf. Jn 2:1-11).
He thus wishes to make clear to what
extent the truth about the family is
part of God's Revelation and the history
of salvation. In the Old Testament,
and particularly in the Prophets, we
find many beautiful expressions about
the love of God. It is a gentle love
like that of a mother for her child,
a tender love like that of the bridegroom
for his bride, but at the same time
an equally and intensely jealous love.
It is not in the first place a love
which chastises but one which forgives;
a love which deigns to meet man just
as the father does in the case of the
prodigal son; a love which raises him
up and gives him a share in divine life.
It is an amazing love: something entirely
new and previously unknown to the whole
pagan world.
At Cana in Galilee Jesus is, as it
were, the herald of the divine truth
about marriage, that truth on which
the human family can rely, gaining reassurance
amid all the trials of life.
Jesus proclaims this truth by his presence
at the wedding in Cana and by working
his first "sign": water changed
into wine. Jesus proclaims the truth
about marriage again when, speaking
to the Pharisees, he explains how the
love which comes from God, a tender
and spousal love, gives rise to profound
and radical demands. Moses, by allowing
a certificate of divorce to be drawn
up, had been less demanding. When in
their lively argument the Pharisees
appealed to Moses, Jesus' answer was
categorical: "from the beginning
it was not so" (Mt 19:8). And he
reminds them that the One who created
man created him male and female, and
ordained that "a man leaves his
father and his mother and cleaves to
his wife, and they become one flesh"
(Gen 2:24). With logical consistency
Jesus concludes: "So they are no
longer two but one flesh. What therefore
God has joined together, let not man
put asunder" (Mt 19:6). To the
objection of the Pharisees who vaunt
the Law of Moses he replies: "For
your hardness of heart Moses allowed
you to divorce your wives, but from
the beginning it was not so" (Mt
19:8).
Jesus appeals to "the beginning",
seeing at the very origins of creation
God's plan, on which the family is based,
and, through the family, the entire
history of humanity. What marriage is
in nature becomes, by the will of Christ,
a true sacrament of the New Covenant,
sealed by the blood of Christ the Redeemer.
Spouses and families, remember at what
price you have been "bought"!
(cf. 1 Cor 6:20).
But it is humanly difficult to accept
and to live this marvellous truth. Should
we be surprised that Moses relented
before the insistent demands of his
fellow Israelites, if the Apostles themselves,
upon hearing the words of the Master,
reply by saying: "If such is the
case of a man with his wife, it is not
expedient to marry" (Mt 19:10)!
Nonetheless, in view of the good of
man and woman, of the family and the
whole of society, Jesus confirms the
demand which God laid down from the
beginning. At the same time, however,
he takes the opportunity to affirm the
value of a decision not to marry for
the sake of the Kingdom of God. This
choice too enables one to "beget",
albeit in a different way. In this choice
we find the origin of the consecrated
life, of the Religious Orders and Religious
Congregations of East and West, and
also of the discipline of priestly celibacy,
as found in the tradition of the Latin
Church. Hence it is untrue that "it
is not expedient to marry"; however,
love for the kingdom of heaven can lead
a person to choose not to marry (cf.
Mt 19:12).
Marriage however remains the usual
human vocation which is embraced by
the great majority of the people of
God. It is in the family where living
stones are formed for that spiritual
house spoken of by the Apostle Peter
(cf. 1 Pet 2:5). The bodies of the husband
and wife are the dwelling-place of the
Holy Spirit (cf. 1 Cor 6:19). Because
the transmission of divine life presumes
the transmission of human life, marriage
not only brings about the birth of human
children, but also, through the power
of Baptism, the birth of adopted children
of God, who live the new life received
from Christ through his Spirit.
Dear brothers and sisters, spouses
and parents, this is how the Bridegroom
is with you. You know that he is the
Good Shepherd. You know who he is, and
you know his voice. You know where he
is leading you, and how he strives to
give you pastures where you can find
life and find it in abundance. You know
how he withstands the marauding wolves,
and is ever ready to rescue his sheep:
every husband and wife, every son and
daughter, every member of your families.
You know that he, as the Good Shepherd,
is prepared to lay down his own life
for his flock (cf. Jn 10:11). He leads
you by paths which are not the steep
and treacherous paths of many of today's
ideologies, and he repeats to today's
world the fullness of truth, even as
he did in his conversation with the
Pharisees or when he announced it to
the Apostles, who then proclaimed it
to all the ends of the earth and to
all the people of their day, to Jews
and Greeks alike. The disciples were
fully conscious that Christ had made
all things new. They knew that man had
been made a "new creation":
no longer Jew or Greek, no longer slave
or free, no longer male or female, but
"one" in Christ (cf. Gal 3:28)
and endowed with the dignity of an adopted
child of God. On the day of Pentecost
man received the Spirit, the Comforter,
the Spirit of truth. This was the beginning
of the new People of God, the Church,
the foreshadowing of new heavens and
a new earth (cf. Rev 21:1).
The Apostles, overcoming their initial
fears even about marriage and the family,
grew in courage. They came to understand
that marriage and family are a true
vocation which comes from God himself
and is an apostolate: the apostolate
of the laity. Families are meant to
contribute to the transformation of
the earth and the renewal of the world,
of creation and of all humanity.
Dear families, you too should be fearless,
ever ready to give witness to the hope
that is in you (cf. 1 Pet 3:15), since
the Good Shepherd has put that hope
in your hearts through the Gospel. You
should be ready to follow Christ towards
the pastures of life, which he himself
has prepared through the Paschal Mystery
of his Death and Resurrection.
Do not be afraid of the risks! God's
strength is always far more powerful
than your difficulties! Immeasurably
greater than the evil at work in the
world is the power of the Sacrament
of Reconciliation, which the Fathers
of the Church rightly called a "second
Baptism". Much more influential
than the corruption present in the world
is the divine power of the Sacrament
of Confirmation, which brings Baptism
to its maturity. And incomparably greater
than all is the power of the Eucharist.
The Eucharist is truly a wondrous sacrament.
In it Christ has given us himself as
food and drink, as a source of saving
power. He has left himself to us that
we might have life and have it in abundance
(cf. Jn 10:10): the life which is in
him and which he has shared with us
by the gift of the Spirit in rising
from the dead on the third day. The
life that comes from Christ is a life
for us. It is for you, dear husbands
and wives, parents and families! Did
Jesus not institute the Eucharist in
a family-like setting during the Last
Supper? When you meet for meals and
are together in harmony, Christ is close
to you. And he is Emmanuel, God with
us, in an even greater way whenever
you approach the table of the Eucharist.
It can happen, as it did at Emmaus,
that he is recognized only in "the
breaking of the bread" (cf. Lk
24:35). It may well be that he is knocking
at the door for a long time, waiting
for it to be opened so that he can enter
and eat with us (cf. Rev 3:20). The
Last Supper and the words he spoke there
contain all the power and wisdom of
the sacrifice of the Cross. No other
power and wisdom exist by which we can
be saved and through which we can help
to save others. There is no other power
and no other wisdom by which you, parents,
can educate both your children and yourselves.
The educational power of the Eucharist
has been proved down the generations
and centuries.
Everywhere the Good Shepherd is with
us. Even as he was at Cana in Galilee,
the Bridegroom in the midst of the bride
and groom as they entrusted themselves
to each other for their whole life,
so the Good Shepherd is also with us
today as the reason for our hope, the
source of strength for our hearts, the
wellspring of ever new enthusiasm and
the sign of the triumph of the "civilization
of love". Jesus, the Good Shepherd,
continues to say to us: Do not be afraid.
I am with you. "I am with you always,
to the close of the age" (Mt 28:20).
What is the source of this strength?
What is the reason for our certainty
that you are with us, even though they
put you to death, O Son of God, and
you died like any other human being?
What is the reason for this certainty?
The Evangelist says: "He loved
them to the end" (Jn 13:1). Thus
do you love us, you who are the First
and the Last, the Living One; you who
died and are alive for evermore (cf.
Rev 1:17-18).
THE GREAT MYSTERY
19. Saint Paul uses a concise
phrase in referring to family life:
it is a "great mystery" (Eph
5:32). What he writes in the Letter
to the Ephesians about that "great
mystery", although deeply rooted
in the Book of Genesis and in the whole
Old Testament tradition, nonetheless
represents a new approach which will
later find expression in the Church's
Magisterium.
The Church professes that Marriage,
as the Sacrament of the covenant between
husband and wife, is a "great mystery",
because it expresses the spousal love
of Christ for his Church. Saint Paul
writes: "Husbands, love your wives,
as Christ loved the Church and gave
himself up for her, that he might sanctify
her, having cleansed her by the washing
of water with the word" (Eph 5:25-26).
The Apostle is speaking here about Baptism,
which he discusses at length in the
Letter to the Romans, where he presents
it as a sharing in the death of Christ
leading to a sharing in his life (cf.
Rom 6:3-4). In this Sacrament the believer
is born as a new man, for Baptism has
the power to communicate new life, the
very life of God. The mystery of the
God-man is in some way recapitulated
in the event of Baptism. As Saint Irenaeus
would later say, along with many other
Fathers of the Church of both East and
West: "Christ Jesus, our Lord,
the Son of God, became the son of man
so that man could become a son of God".[44]
The Bridegroom then is the very same
God who became man. In the Old Covenant
Yahweh appears as the Bridegroom of
Israel, the chosen people--a Bridegroom
who is both affectionate and demanding,
jealous and faithful. Israel's moments
of betrayal, desertion and idolatry,
described in such powerful and evocative
terms by the Prophets, can never extinguish
the love with which God-the Bridegroom
"loves to the end" (cf. Jn
13:1).
The confirmation and fulfillment of
the spousal relationship between God
and his people are realized in Christ,
in the New Covenant. Christ assures
us that the Bridegroom is with us (cf.
Mt 9:15). He is with all of us; he is
with the Church. The Church becomes
a Bride, the Bride of Christ. This Bride,
of whom the Letter to the Ephesians
speaks, is present in each of the baptized
and is like one who presents herself
before her Bridegroom. "Christ
loved the Church and gave himself up
for her..., that he might present the
Church to himself in splendour, without
spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that
she might be holy and without blemish"
(Eph 5:25-27). The love with which the
Bridegroom "has loved" the
Church "to the end" continuously
renews her holiness in her saints, even
though she remains a Church of sinners.
Even sinners, "tax collectors and
harlots", are called to holiness,
as Christ himself affirms in the Gospel
(cf. Mt 21:31). All are called to become
a glorious Church, holy and without
blemish. "Be holy", says the
Lord, "for I am holy" (Lev
11:44; cf. 1 Pet 1:16).
This is the deepest significance of
the "great mystery", the inner
meaning of the sacramental gift in the
Church, the most profound meaning of
Baptism and the Eucharist. They are
fruits of the love with which the Bridegroom
has loved us to the end, a love which
continually expands and lavishes on
people an ever greater sharing in the
supernatural life.
Saint Paul, after having said: "Husbands,
love your wives" (Eph 5:25), emphatically
adds: "Even so husbands should
love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself.
For no man ever hates his own flesh,
but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ
does the Church, because we are members
of his body" (Eph 5:28-30). And
he encourages spouses with the words:
"Be subject to one another out
of reverence for Christ" (Eph 5:21).
This is unquestionably a new presentation
of the eternal truth about marriage
and the family in the light of the New
Covenant. Christ has revealed this truth
in the Gospel by his presence at Cana
in Galilee, by the sacrifice of the
Cross and the Sacraments of his Church.
Husbands and wives thus discover in
Christ the point of reference for their
spousal love. In speaking of Christ
as the Bridegroom of the Church, Saint
Paul uses the analogy of spousal love,
referring back to the Book of Genesis:
"A man leaves his father and his
mother and cleaves to his wife, and
they become one flesh" (Gen 2:24).
This is the "great mystery"
of that eternal love already present
in creation, revealed in Christ and
entrusted to the Church. "This
mystery is a profound one", the
Apostle repeats, "and I am saying
that it refers to Christ and the Church"
(Eph 5:32). The Church cannot therefore
be understood as the Mystical Body of
Christ, as the sign of man's Covenant
with God in Christ, or as the universal
sacrament of salvation, unless we keep
in mind the "great mystery"
involved in the creation of man as male
and female and the vocation of both
to conjugal love, to fatherhood and
to motherhood. The "great mystery",
which is the Church and humanity in
Christ, does not exist apart from the
"great mystery" expressed
in the "one flesh" (cf. Gen
2:24; Eph 5:31-32), that is, in the
reality of marriage and the family.
The family itself is the great mystery
of God. As the "domestic church",
it is the bride of Christ. The universal
Church, and every particular Church
in her, is most immediately revealed
as the bride of Christ in the "domestic
church" and in its experience of
love: conjugal love, paternal and maternal
love, fraternal love, the love of a
community of persons and of generations.
Could we even imagine human love without
the Bridegroom and the love with which
he first loved to the end? Only if husbands
and wives share in that love and in
that "great mystery" can they
love "to the end". Unless
they share in it, they do not know "to
the end" what love truly is and
how radical are its demands. And this
is undoubtedly very dangerous for them.
The teaching of the Letter to the Ephesians
amazes us with its depth and the authority
of its ethical teaching. Pointing to
marriage, and indirectly to the family,
as the "great mystery" which
refers to Christ and the Church, the
Apostle Paul is able to reaffirm what
he had earlier said to husbands: "Let
each one of you love his wife as himself".
He goes on to say: "And let the
wife see that she respects her husband"
(Eph 5:33). Respect, because she loves
and knows that she is loved in return.
It is because of this love that husband
and wife become a mutual gift. Love
contains the acknowledgment of the personal
dignity of the other, and of his or
her absolute uniqueness. Indeed, each
of the spouses, as a human being, has
been willed by God from among all the
creatures of the earth for his or her
own sake.[45] Each of them, however,
by a conscious and responsible act,
makes a free gift of self to the other
and to the children received from the
Lord. It is significant that Saint Paul
continues his exhortation by echoing
the fourth commandment: "Children,
obey your parents in the Lord, for this
is right. 'Honour your father and mother'
(this is the first commandment with
a promise), 'that it may be well with
you and that you may live long on the
earth'. Fathers, do not provoke your
children to anger, but bring them up
in the discipline and instruction of
the Lord" (Eph 6:1-4). The Apostle
thus sees in the fourth commandment
the implicit commitment of mutual respect
between husband and wife, between parents
and children, and he recognizes in it
the principle of family stability.
Saint Paul's magnificent synthesis
concerning the "great mystery"
appears as the compendium or summa,
in some sense, of the teaching about
God and man which was brought to fulfillment
by Christ. Unfortunately, Western thought,
with the development of modern rationalism,
has been gradually moving away from
this teaching. The philosopher who formulated
the principle of "Cogito, ergo
sum", "I think, therefore
I am", also gave the modern concept
of man its distinctive dualistic character.
It is typical of rationalism to make
a radical contrast in man between spirit
and body, between body and spirit. But
man is a person in the unity of his
body and his spirit.[46] The body can
never be reduced to mere matter: it
is a spiritualized body, just as man's
spirit is so closely united to the body
that he can be described as an embodied
spirit. The richest source for knowledge
of the body is the Word made flesh.
Christ reveals man to himself.[47] In
a certain sense this statement of the
Second Vatican Council is the reply,
so long awaited, which the Church has
given to modern rationalism.
This reply is of fundamental importance
for understanding the family, especially
against the background of today's civilization,
which, as has been said, seems in so
many cases to have given up the attempt
to be a "civilization of love".
The modern age has made great progress
in understanding both the material world
and human psychology, but with regard
to his deepest, metaphysical dimension
contemporary man remains to a great
extent a being unknown to himself. Consequently
the family too remains an unknown reality.
Such is the result of estrangement from
that "great mystery" spoken
of by the Apostle.
The separation of spirit and body in
man has led to a growing tendency to
consider the human body, not in accordance
with the categories of its specific
likeness to God, but rather on the basis
of its similarity to all the other bodies
present in the world of nature, bodies
which man uses as raw material in his
efforts to produce goods for consumption.
But everyone can immediately realize
what enormous dangers lurk behind the
application of such criteria to man.
When the human body, considered apart
from spirit and thought, comes to be
used as raw material in the same way
that the bodies of animals are used--and
this actually occurs for example in
experimentation on embryos and fetuses--we
will inevitably arrive at a dreadful
ethical defeat.
Within a similar anthropological perspective,
the human family is facing the challenge
of a new Manichaeanism, in which body
and spirit are put in radical opposition;
the body does not receive life from
the spirit, and the spirit does not
give life to the body. Man thus ceases
to live as a person and a subject. Regardless
of all intentions and declarations to
the contrary, he becomes merely an object.
This neo-Manichaean culture has led,
for example, to human sexuality being
regarded more as a area for manipulation
and exploitation than as the basis of
that primordial wonder which led Adam
on the morning of creation to exclaim
before Eve: "This at last is bone
of my bones and flesh of my flesh"
(Gen 2:23). This same wonder is echoed
in the words of the Song of Solomon:
"You have ravished my heart, my
sister, my bride, you have ravished
my heart with a glance of your eyes"
(Song 4:9). How far removed are some
modern ideas from the profound understanding
of masculinity and femininity found
in Divine Revelation! Revelation leads
us to discover in human sexuality a
treasure proper to the person, who finds
true fulfillment in the family but who
can likewise express his profound calling
in virginity and in celibacy for the
sake of the Kingdom of God.
Modern rationalism does not tolerate
mystery. It does not accept the mystery
of man as male and female, nor is it
willing to admit that the full truth
about man has been revealed in Jesus
Christ. In particular, it does not accept
the "great mystery" proclaimed
in the Letter to the Ephesians, but
radically opposes it. It may well acknowledge,
in the context of a vague deism, the
possibility and even the need for a
supreme or divine Being, but it firmly
rejects the idea of a God who became
man in order to save man. For rationalism
it is unthinkable that God should be
the Redeemer, much less that he should
be "the Bridegroom", the primordial
and unique source of the human love
between spouses. Rationalism provides
a radically different way of looking
at creation and the meaning of human
existence. But once man begins to lose
sight of a God who loves him, a God
who calls man through Christ to live
in him and with him, and once the family
no longer has the possibility of sharing
in the "great mystery", what
is left except the mere temporal dimension
of life? Earthly life becomes nothing
more than the scenario of a battle for
existence, of a desperate search for
gain, and financial gain before all
else.
The deep-seated roots of the "great
mystery", the sacrament of love
and life which began with Creation and
Redemption and which has Christ the
Bridegroom as its ultimate surety, have
been lost in the modern way of looking
at things. The "great mystery"
is threatened in us and all around us.
May the Church's celebration of the
Year of the Family be a fruitful opportunity
for husbands and wives to rediscover
that mystery and recommit themselves
to it with strength, courage and enthusiasm.
MOTHER OF FAIREST LOVE
20. The history of "fairest
love" begins at the Annunciation,
in those wondrous words which the angel
spoke to Mary, called to become the
Mother of the Son of God. With Mary's
"yes", the One who is "God
from God and Light from Light"
becomes a son of man. Mary is his Mother,
while continuing to be the Virgin who
"knows not man" (cf. Lk 1:34).
As Mother and Virgin, Mary becomes the
Mother of Fairest Love. This truth is
already revealed in the words of the
Archangel Gabriel, but its full significance
will gradually become clearer and more
evident as Mary follows her Son in the
pilgrimage of faith.[48]
The "Mother of Fairest Love"
was accepted by the one who, according
to Israel's tradition, was already her
earthly husband: Joseph, of the house
of David. Joseph would have had the
right to consider his promised bride
as his wife and the mother of his children.
But God takes it upon himself to intervene
in this spousal covenant: "Joseph,
son of David, do not fear to take Mary
as your wife, for that which is conceived
in her is of the Holy Spirit" (Mt
1:20). Joseph is aware, having seen
it with his own eyes, that a new life
with which he has had nothing to do
has been conceived in Mary. Being a
just man, and observing the Old Law,
which in his situation imposed the obligation
of divorce, he wishes to dissolve his
marriage in a loving way (cf. Mt 1:19).
The angel of the Lord tells him that
this would not be consistent with his
vocation; indeed it would be contrary
to the spousal love uniting him to Mary.
This mutual spousal love, to be completely
"fairest love", requires that
he should take Mary and her Son into
his own house in Nazareth. Joseph obeys
the divine message and does all that
he had been commanded (cf. Mt 1:24).
And so, thanks also to Joseph, the mystery
of the Incarnation and, together with
it, the mystery of the Holy Family,
come to be profoundly inscribed in the
spousal love of husband and wife and,
in an indirect way, in the genealogy
of every human family. What Saint Paul
will call the "great mystery"
found its most lofty expression in the
Holy Family. Thus the family truly takes
its place at the very heart of the New
Covenant.
It can also be said that the history
of "fairest love" began, in
a certain way, with the first human
couple: Adam and Eve. The temptation
to which they yielded and the original
sin which resulted did not completely
deprive them of the capacity for "fairest
love". This becomes clear when
we read, for example, in the Book of
Tobit that the spouses Tobias and Sarah,
in defining the meaning of their union,
appealed to their first parents, Adam
and Eve (cf. Tob 8:6). In the New Covenant,
Saint Paul also bears witness to this,
speaking of Christ as a new Adam (cf.
1 Cor 15:45). Christ does not come to
condemn the first Adam and the first
Eve, but to save them. He comes to renew
everything that is God's gift in man,
everything in him that is eternally
good and beautiful, everything that
forms the basis of "fairest love".
The history of "fairest love"
is, in one sense, the history of man's
salvation.
"Fairest love" always begins
with the self-revelation of the person.
At creation Eve reveals herself to Adam,
just as Adam reveals himself to Eve.
In the course of history newly-married
couples tell each other: "We shall
walk the path of life together".
The family thus begins as a union of
the two and, through the Sacrament,
as a new community in Christ. For love
to be truly "fairest", it
must be a gift of God, grafted by the
Holy Spirit on to human hearts and continually
nourished in them (cf. Rom 5:5). Fully
conscious of this, the Church in the
Sacrament of Marriage asks the Holy
Spirit to visit human hearts. If love
is truly to be "fairest love",
a gift of one person to another, it
must come from the One who is himself
a gift and the source of every gift.
Such was the case, as the Gospel recounts,
with Mary and Joseph who, at the threshold
of the New Covenant, renewed the experience
of "fairest love" described
in the Song of Solomon. Joseph thinks
of Mary in the words: "My sister,
my bride" (Song 4:9). Mary, the
Mother of God, conceives by the power
of the Holy Spirit, who is the origin
of the "fairest love", which
the Gospel delicately places in the
context of the "great mystery".
When we speak about "fairest love",
we are also speaking about beauty: the
beauty of love and the beauty of the
human being who, by the power of the
Holy Spirit, is capable of such love.
We are speaking of the beauty of man
and woman: their beauty as brother or
sister, as a couple about to be married,
as husband and wife. The Gospel sheds
light not only on the mystery of "fairest
love", but also on the equally
profound mystery of beauty, which, like
love, is from God. Man and woman are
from God, two persons called to become
a mutual gift. From the primordial gift
of the Spirit, the "giver of life",
there arises the reciprocal gift of
being husband or wife, no less than
that of being brother or sister.
All this is confirmed by the mystery
of the Incarnation, a mystery which
has been the source of a new beauty
in the history of humanity and has inspired
countless masterpieces of art. After
the strict prohibition against portraying
the invisible God by graven images (cf.
Dt 4:15-20), the Christian era began
instead to portray in art the God who
became man, Mary his Mother, Saint Joseph,
the Saints of the Old and New Covenant
and the entire created world redeemed
by Christ. In this way it began a new
relationship with the world of culture
and of art. It can be said that this
new artistic canon, attentive to the
deepest dimension of man and his future,
originates in the mystery of Christ's
Incarnation and draws inspiration from
the mysteries of his life: his birth
in Bethlehem, his hidden life in Nazareth,
his public ministry, Golgotha, the Resurrection
and his final return in glory. The Church
is conscious that her presence in the
contemporary world, and in particular
the contribution and support she offers
to the promotion of the dignity of marriage
and the family, are intimately linked
to the development of culture, and she
is rightly concerned for this. This
is precisely why the Church is so concerned
with the direction taken by the means
of social communication, which have
the duty of forming as well as informing
their vast audience.[49] Knowing the
vast and powerful impact of the media,
she never tires of reminding communications
workers of the dangers arising from
the manipulation of truth. Indeed, what
truth can there be in films, shows and
radio and television programmes dominated
by pornography and violence? Do these
really serve the truth about man? Such
questions are unavoidable for those
who work in the field of communications
and those who have responsibility for
creating and marketing media products.
This kind of critical reflection should
lead our society, which certainly contains
many positive aspects on the material
and cultural level, to realize that,
from various points of view, it is a
society which is sick and is creating
profound distortions in man. Why is
this happening? The reason is that our
society has broken away from the full
truth about man, from the truth about
what man and woman really are as persons.
Thus it cannot adequately comprehend
the real meaning of the gift of persons
in marriage, responsible love at the
service of fatherhood and motherhood,
and the true grandeur of procreation
and education. Is it an exaggeration
to say that the mass media, if they
are not guided by sound ethical principles,
fail to serve the truth in its fundamental
dimension? This is the real drama: the
modern means of social communication
are tempted to manipulate the message,
thereby falsifying the truth about man.
Human beings are not the same thing
as the images proposed in advertising
and shown by the modern mass media.
They are much more, in their physical
and psychic unity, as composites of
soul and body, as persons. They are
much more because of their vocation
to love, which introduces them as male
and female into the realm of the "great
mystery".
Mary was the first to enter this realm,
and she introduced her husband Joseph
into it. Thus they became the first
models of that "fairest love"
which the Church continually implores
for young people, husbands and wives
and families. Young people, spouses
and families themselves should never
cease to pray for this. How can we not
think about the crowds of pilgrims,
old and young, who visit Marian shrines
and gaze upon the face of the Mother
of God, on the faces of the Holy Family,
where they find reflected the full beauty
of the love which God has given to mankind?
In the Sermon on the Mount, recalling
the sixth commandment, Christ proclaims:
"You have heard that it was said,
'You shall not commit adultery'. But
I say to you that every one who looks
at a woman lustfully has already committed
adultery with her in his heart"
(Mt 5:27-28). With regard to the Decalogue
and its purpose of defending the traditional
solidity of marriage and the family,
these words represent a great step forward.
Jesus goes to the very source of the
sin of adultery, which dwells in the
innermost heart of man and is revealed
in a way of looking and thinking dominated
by concupiscence. Through concupiscence
man tends to treat as his own possession
another human being, one who does not
belong to him but to God. In speaking
to his contemporaries, Christ is also
speaking to men and women in every age
and generation. He is speaking in particular
to our own generation, living as it
is in a society marked by consumerism
and hedonism.
Why does Christ speak out in so forceful
and demanding a way in the Sermon on
the Mount? The reason is quite clear:
Christ wants to safeguard the holiness
of marriage and of the family. He wants
to defend the full truth about the human
person and his dignity.
Only in the light of this truth can
the family be "to the end"
the great "revelation", the
first discovery of the other: the mutual
discovery of husband and wife and then
of each son and daughter born to them.
All that a husband and a wife promise
to each other--to be "true in good
times and in bad, and to love and honour
each other all the days of their life"--is
possible only when "fairest love"
is present. Man today cannot learn this
from what modern mass culture has to
say. "Fairest love" is learned
above all in prayer. Prayer, in fact,
always brings with it, to use an expression
of Saint Paul, a type of interior hiddenness
with Christ in God, "your life
is hid with Christ in God" (Col
3:3). Only in this hiddenness do we
see the workings of the Holy Spirit,
the source of "fairest love".
He has poured forth this love not only
in the hearts of Mary and Joseph but
also in the hearts of all married couples
who are open to hearing the word of
God and keeping it (cf. Lk 8:15). The
future of each family unit depends upon
this "fairest love": the mutual
love of husband and wife, of parents
and children, a love embracing all generations.
Love is the true source of the unity
and strength of the family.
BIRTH AND DANGER
21. It is significant that the
brief account of the infancy of Jesus
mentions, practically at the same time,
his birth and the danger which he immediately
had to confront. Luke records the prophetic
words uttered by the aged Simeon when
the Child was presented to the Lord
in the Temple forty days after his birth.
Simeon speaks of "light" and
of a "sign of contradiction".
He goes on to predict of Mary: "And
a sword will pierce through your own
soul also" (cf. Lk 2:32-35). Matthew,
for his part, tells of the plot of Herod
against Jesus. Informed by the Magi
who came from the East to see the new
king who was to be born (cf. Mt 2:2),
Herod senses a threat to his power,
and after their departure he orders
the death of all male children aged
two years or under in Bethlehem and
the surrounding towns. Jesus escapes
from the hands of Herod thanks to a
special divine intervention and the
fatherly care of Joseph, who takes him
with his mother into Egypt, where they
remain until Herod's death. The Holy
Family then returns to Nazareth, their
home town, and begins what for many
years would be a hidden life, marked
by the carrying out of daily tasks with
fidelity and generosity (cf. Mt 2:1-23;
Lk 2:39-52).
The fact that Jesus, from his very
birth, had to face threats and dangers
has a certain prophetic eloquence. Even
as a Child, Jesus is a "sign of
contradiction". Prophetically eloquent
also is the tragedy of the innocent
children of Bethlehem, slaughtered at
Herod's command.[50] According to the
Church's ancient liturgy, they shared
in the birth and saving passion of Christ.
Through their own "passion",
they complete "what is lacking
in Christ's afflictions for the sake
of his body, that is, the Church"
(Col 1:24).
In the infancy Gospel, the proclamation
of life, which comes about in a wondrous
way in the birth of the Redeemer, is
thus put in sharp contrast with the
threat to life, a life which embraces
the mystery of the Incarnation and of
the divine-human reality of Christ in
its entirety. The Word was made flesh
(cf. Jn 1:14): God became man. The Fathers
of the Church frequently call attention
to this sublime mystery: "God became
man, so that we might become gods".[51]
This truth of faith is likewise the
truth about the human being. It clearly
indicates the gravity of all attempts
on the life of a child in the womb of
its mother. Precisely in this situation
we encounter everything which is diametrically
opposed to "fairest love".
If an individual is exclusively concerned
with "use", he can reach the
point of killing love by killing the
fruit of love. For the culture of use,
the "blessed fruit of your womb"
(Lk 1:42) becomes in a certain sense
an "accursed fruit".
How can we not recall, in this regard,
the aberrations that the so- called
constitutional State has tolerated in
so many countries? The law of God is
univocal and categorical with respect
to human life. God commands: "You
shall not kill" (Ex 20:13). No
human lawgiver can therefore assert:
it is permissible for you to kill, you
have the right to kill, or you should
kill. Tragically, in the history of
our century, this has actually occurred
when certain political forces have come
to power, even by democratic means,
and have passed laws contrary to the
right to life of every human being,
in the name of eugenic, ethnic or other
reasons, as unfounded as they are mistaken.
A no less serious phenomenon, also because
it meets with widespread acquiescence
or consensus in public opinion, is that
of laws which fail to respect the right
to life from the moment of conception.
How can one morally accept laws that
permit the killing of a human being
not yet born, but already alive in the
mother's womb? The right to life becomes
an exclusive prerogative of adults who
even manipulate legislatures in order
to carry out their own plans and pursue
their own interests.
We are facing an immense threat to
life: not only to the life of individuals
but also to that of civilization itself.
The statement that civilization has
become, in some areas, a "civilization
of death" is being confirmed in
disturbing ways. Was it not a prophetic
event that the birth of Christ was accompanied
by danger to his life? Yes, even the
life of the One who is at the same time
Son of Man and Son of God was threatened.
It was endangered from the very beginning,
and only by a miracle did he escape
death.
Nevertheless, in the last few decades
some consoling signs of a reawakening
of conscience have appeared: both among
intellectuals and in public opinion
itself. There is a new and growing sense
of respect for life from the first moment
of conception, especially among young
people. "Prolife" movements
are beginning to spread. This is a leaven
of hope for the future of the family
and of all humanity.
"YOU WELCOMED ME"
22. Married couples and families
of all the world: the Bridegroom is
with you! This is what the Pope wishes
to say to you above all else during
this Year which the United Nations and
the Church have dedicated to the family.
"God so loved the world that he
gave his only Son, that whoever believes
in him should not perish but have eternal
life. For God sent his Son into the
world, not to condemn the world, but
that the world might be saved through
him" (Jn 3:16-17). "That which
is born of the flesh is flesh, and that
which is born of the Spirit is spirit...
You must be born anew" (Jn 3:6-7).
You must be born "of water and
the Spirit" (Jn 3:5). You yourselves,
dear fathers and mothers, are the first
witnesses and servants of this rebirth
in the Holy Spirit. As you beget children
on earth, never forget that you are
also begetting them for God. God wants
their birth in the Holy Spirit. He wants
them to be adopted children in the Only-begotten
Son, who gives us "power to become
children of God" (Jn 1:12). The
work of salvation continues in the world
and is carried out through the Church.
All this is the work of the Son of God,
the Divine Bridegroom, who has given
to us the Kingdom of his Father and
who reminds us, his disciples, that
"the Kingdom of God is in the midst
of you" (Lk 17:21).
Our faith tells us that Jesus Christ,
who "is seated at the right hand
of the Father", will come to judge
the living and the dead. On the other
hand, the Gospel of John assures us
that Christ was sent "into the
world, not to condemn the world, but
that the world might be saved through
him" (Jn 3:17). In what then does
judgment consist? Christ himself gives
the answer: "And this is the judgment,
that the light has come into the world...
But he who does what is true comes into
the light, that it may be clearly seen
that his deeds have been wrought by
God" (Jn 3:19, 21). Recently, the
Encyclical Veritatis Splendor also reminded
us of this.[52] Is Christ then a judge?
Your own actions will judge you in the
light of the truth which you know. Fathers
and mothers, sons and daughters, will
be judged by their actions. Each one
of us will be judged according to the
Commandments, including those we have
discussed in this Letter: the Fourth,
Fifth, Sixth and Ninth Commandments.
But ultimately everyone will be judged
on love, which is the deepest meaning
and the summing-up of the Commandments.
As Saint John of the Cross wrote: "In
the evening of life we shall be judged
on love".[53] Christ, the Redeemer
and Bridegroom of mankind, "was
born for this and came into the world
for this, to bear witness to the truth.
Everyone who is of truth hears his voice"
(cf. Jn 18:37). Christ will be the judge,
but in the way that he himself indicated
in speaking of the Last Judgment (cf.
Mt 25:31-46). His will be a judgment
on love, a judgment which will definitively
confirm the truth that the Bridegroom
was with us, without perhaps our having
been aware of it.
The judge is the Bridegroom of the
Church and of humanity. This is why
he says, in passing his sentence: "Come,
O blessed of my Father... for I was
hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty
and you gave me drink, I was a stranger
and you welcomed me, I was naked and
you clothed me" (Mt 25:34-36).
This list could of course be lengthened,
and countless other problems relevant
to married and family life could be
added. There we might very well find
statements like: "I was an unborn
child, and you welcomed me by letting
me be born"; "I was an abandoned
child, and you became my family";
"I was an orphan, and you adopted
me and raised me as one of your own
children". Or again: "You
helped mothers filled with uncertainty
and exposed to wrongful pressure to
welcome their unborn child and let it
be born"; and "You helped
large families and families in difficulty
to look after and educate the children
God gave them". We could continue
with a long and detailed list, including
all those kinds of true moral and human
good in which love is expressed. This
is the great harvest which the Redeemer
of the world, to whom the Father has
entrusted judgment, will come to reap.
It is the harvest of grace and of good
works, ripened by the breath of the
Bridegroom in the Holy Spirit, who is
ever at work in the world and in the
Church. For all of this, let us give
thanks to the Giver of every good gift.
We also know however that according
to the Gospel of Matthew the Final Judgment
will contain another list, solemn and
terrifying: "Depart from me...
for I was hungry and you gave me no
food, I was thirsty and you gave me
no drink, I was a stranger and you did
not welcome me, naked and you did not
clothe me" (Mt 25:41-43). To this
list also we could add other ways of
acting, in which Jesus is present in
each case as the one who has been rejected.
In this way he would identify with the
abandoned wife or husband, or with the
child conceived and then rejected: "You
did not welcome me"! This judgment
is also to be found throughout the history
of our families; it is to be found throughout
the history of our nations and all humanity.
Christ's words, "You did not welcome
me", also touch social institutions,
governments and international organizations.
Pascal wrote that "Jesus will
be in agony until the end of the world".[54]
The agony of Gethsemane and the agony
of Golgotha are the summit of the revelation
of love. Both scenes reveal the Bridegroom
who is with us, who loves us ever anew,
and "loves us to the end"
(cf. Jn 13:1). The love which is in
Christ, and which from him flows beyond
the limits of individual or family histories,
flows beyond the limits of all human
history.
At the end of these reflections, dear
Brothers and Sisters, in view of what
will be proclaimed from various platforms
during the Year of the Family, I would
like to renew with you the profession
of faith which Peter addressed to Christ:
"You have the words of eternal
life" (Jn 6:68). Together let us
say: "Your words, O Lord, will
not pass away"! (cf. Mk 13:31).
What then is the Pope's wish for you
at the end of this lengthy meditation
on the Year of the Family? It is his
prayer that all of you will be in agreement
with these words, which are "spirit
and life" (Jn 6:63).
"STRENGTHENED IN THE INNER
MAN"
23. I bow my knees before the
Father, from whom every fatherhood and
motherhood is named, "that he may
grant you to be strengthened with might
through his Spirit in the inner man"
(Eph 3:16). I willingly return to these
words of the Apostle, which I mentioned
in the first part of this Letter. In
a certain sense they are pivotal words.
The family, fatherhood and motherhood
all go together. The family is the first
human setting in which is formed that
"inner man" of which the Apostle
speaks. The growth of the inner man
in strength and vigour is a gift of
the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit.
The Year of the Family sets before
us in the Church an immense task, no
different from the task which families
face every year and every day. In the
context of this Year, however, that
task takes on particular meaning and
importance. We began the Year of the
Family in Nazareth on the Solemnity
of the Holy Family. Throughout this
Year we wish to make our pilgrim way
towards that place of grace which has
become the Shrine of the Holy Family
in the history of humanity. We want
to make this pilgrimage in order to
become aware once again of that heritage
of truth about the family which from
the beginning has been a treasure for
the Church. It is a treasure which grows
out of the rich tradition of the Old
Covenant, is completed in the New and
finds its fullest symbolic expression
in the mystery of the Holy Family in
which the divine Bridegroom brings about
the redemption of all families. From
there Jesus proclaims the "gospel
of the family". All generations
of Christ's disciples have drawn upon
this treasure of truth, beginning with
the Apostles, on whose teaching we have
so frequently drawn in this Letter.
In our own times this treasure has been
examined in depth in the documents of
the Second Vatican Council.[55] Perceptive
analyses were developed in the many
addresses given by Pope Pius XII to
newlyweds,[56] in the Encyclical Humanae
Vitae of Pope Paul VI, in the speeches
delivered at the Synod of Bishops on
the Family (1980) and in the Apostolic
Exhortation Familiaris Consortio. I
have already spoken of these statements
of the Magisterium. If I return to them
now, it is in order to emphasize how
vast and rich is the treasure of Christian
truth about the family. Written testimonies
alone, however, will not suffice. Much
more important are living testimonies.
As Pope Paul VI observed, "contemporary
man listens more willingly to witnesses
than to teachers, and if he listens
to teachers it is because they are witnesses".[57]
In the Church, the treasure of the family
has been entrusted first and foremost
to witnesses: to those fathers and mothers,
sons and daughters who through the family
have discovered the path of their human
and Christian vocation, the dimension
of the "inner man" (Eph 3:16)
of which the Apostle speaks, and thus
have attained holiness. The Holy Family
is the beginning of countless other
holy families. The Council recalled
that holiness is the vocation of all
the baptized.[58] In our age, as in
the past, there is no lack of witnesses
to the "gospel of the family",
even if they are not well known or have
not been proclaimed saints by the Church.
The Year of the Family is the appropriate
occasion to bring about an increased
awareness of their existence and their
great number.
The history of mankind, the history
of salvation, passes by way of the family.
In these pages I have tried to show
how the family is placed at the centre
of the great struggle between good and
evil, between life and death, between
love and all that is opposed to love.
To the family is entrusted the task
of striving, first and foremost, to
unleash the forces of good, the source
of which is found in Christ the Redeemer
of man. Every family unit needs to make
these forces their own so that, to use
a phrase spoken on the occasion of the
Millennium of Christianity in Poland,
the family will be "strong with
the strength of God".[59] This
is why the present Letter has sought
to draw inspiration from the apostolic
exhortations found in the writings of
Paul (cf. 1 Cor 7:1- 40; Eph 5:21-6:9;
Col 3:25) and the Letters of Peter and
John (cf. 1 Pet 3:1-7; 1 Jn 2:12-17).
Despite the differences in their historical
and cultural contexts, how similar are
the experiences of Christians and families
then and now!
What I offer, then, is an invitation:
an invitation addressed especially to
you, dearly beloved husbands and wives,
fathers and mothers, sons and daughters.
It is an invitation to all the particular
Churches to remain united in the teaching
of the apostolic truth. It is addressed
to my Brothers in the Episcopate, and
to priests, religious families and consecrated
persons, to movements and associations
of the lay faithful; to our brothers
and sisters united by common faith in
Jesus Christ, even while not yet sharing
the full communion willed by the Saviour;
60 to all who by sharing in the faith
of Abraham belong, like us, to the great
community of believers in the one God;
61 to those who are the heirs of other
spiritual and religious traditions;
and to all men and women of good will.
May Christ, who is the same "yesterday
and today and for ever" (Heb 13:8),
be with us as we bow the knee before
the Father, from whom all fatherhood
and motherhood and every human family
is named (cf. Eph 3:14-15). In the words
of the prayer to the Father which Christ
himself taught us, may he once again
offer testimony of that love with which
he loved us "to the end"!
(Jn 13:1).
I speak with the power of his truth
to all people of our day, so that they
will come to appreciate the grandeur
of the goods of marriage, family and
life; so that they will come to appreciate
the great danger which follows when
these realities are not respected, or
when the supreme values which lie at
the foundation of the family and of
human dignity are disregarded.
May the Lord Jesus repeat these truths
to us with the power and the wisdom
of the Cross, so that humanity will
not yield to the temptation of the "father
of lies" (Jn 8:44), who constantly
seeks to draw people to broad and easy
ways, ways apparently smooth and pleasant,
but in reality full of snares and dangers.
May we always be enabled to follow the
One who is "the way, and the truth,
and the life" (Jn 14:6).
Dear Brothers and Sisters: Let all
of this be the task of Christian families
and the object of the Church's missionary
concern throughout this Year, so rich
in singular divine graces. May the Holy
Family, icon and model of every human
family, help each individual to walk
in the spirit of Nazareth. May it help
each family unit to grow in understanding
of its particular mission in society
and the Church by hearing the Word of
God, by prayer and by a fraternal sharing
of life. May Mary, Mother of "Fairest
Love", and Joseph, Guardian of
the Redeemer, accompany us all with
their constant protection.
With these sentiments I bless every
family in the name of the Most Holy
Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Given in Rome, at Saint Peter's, on
2 February, the Feast of the Presentation
of the Lord, in the year 1994, the sixteenth
of my Pontificate.
ENDNOTES
1. Cf. Encyclical Letter Redemptor
Hominis (4 March 1979), 14: AAS 71 (1979),
284-285.
2. Cf. SECOND VATICAN ECUMENICAL
COUNCIL, Pastoral Constitution on the
Church in the Modern World Gaudium et
Spes, 1.
3. Ibid, 22.
4. Ibid.
5. Ibid.
6. Cf. Dogmatic Constitution
on the Church Lumen Gentium, 11.
7. Pastoral Constitution on
the Church in the Modern World Gaudium
et Spes, Part II, Chap. 1.
8. Rituale Romanum, Ordo Celebrandi
Matrimonium, No. 74, editio typica altera,
1991, p. 26.
9. Cf. Apostolic Exhortation
Familiaris Consortio (22 November 1981),
79-84: MS 74 (1982), 180-186.
10. Cf. Rituale Romanum, Ordo
Celebrandi Matrimonium, No 74, ed. Cit.,
p. 26.
11. Pastoral Constitution on
the Church in the Modern World Gaudium
et Spes, 48.
12. Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris
Consortio (22 November 1981), 69: AAS
74 (1982), 165.
13. Pastoral Constitution on
the Church in the Modern World Gaudium
et Spes, 24.
14. Rituale Romanum, Ordo Celebrandi
Matrimonium, No. 60, ed. cit, p. 17.
15. Cf. Apostolic Exhortation
Familiaris Consortio (22 November 1981),
28: AAS 74 (1982), 114.
16. Cf. Plus XII, Encyclical
Letter Humani Generis (12 August 1950):
AAS 42 (1950), 574.
17. Pastoral Constitution on
the Church in the Modern World Gaudium
et Spes, 24.
18. Ibid.
19. Ibid.
20. Confessiones, I, 1: CCL
27,1.
21. Cf. Pastoral Constitution
on the Church in the Modern World Gaudium
et Spes, 50.
22. Rituale Romanum, Ordo Celebrandi
Matrimonium, No. 62, ed cit, p 17.
23. Ibid, No. 61, ed. cit.,
p 17.
24. SAINT THOMAS AQUINAS, Summa
Theologiae, I, q. 5, a. 4, ad 2.
25. Pastoral Constitution on
the Church in the Modern World Gaudium
et Spes, 24.
26. Cf. Encyclical Letter Sollicitudo
Rei Socialis (30 December 1987), 25:
AAS 80 (1988), 543-544.
27. ENCYCLICAL Letter Redemptor
Hominis (4 March 1979), 14: AAS 71 (1979),884-885;
Cf. Encyclical Letter Centesimus Annus
(1 May 1991), 53: AAS 83 (1991), 859.
28. Adversus Haereses IV, 20,
7: PG 7, 1057; SCh 100/2, 648- 649.
29. Encyclical Letter Centesimus
Annus (1 May 1991) 39: AAS 83 (1991),
842.
30. Cf. Encyclical Letter Sollicitudo
Rei Socialis (30 December 1987), 25:
AAS 80 (1988), 543-544.
31. Cf. PAUL VI, Encyclical
Letter Humanae Vitae (25 July 1968),
12 AAS 60 (1968), 488-489; Catechism
of the Catholic Church, NO. 2366.
32. Pastoral Constitution on
the Church in the Modern World Gaudium
et Spes, 24.
33. Cf. Homily for the Closing
of the Holy Year (25 December 1975):
AAS 68(1976), 145.
34. Pastoral Constitution on
the Church in the Modern World Gaudium
et Spes, 22.
35. Cf. ibid, 47.
36. Summa Theologiae, I, q.
5, a. 4, ad 2.
37. Ibid, I-II, q. 22.
38. Cf. SECOND VATICAN ECUMENICAL
COUNCIL, Dogmatic Constitution on the
Church Lumen Gentium, 11, 40 and 41.
39. Rituale Romanum, Ordo Celebrandi
Matrimonium, No. 60, ed. cit., p. 17.
40. Code of Canon Law, Canon
1055, P. 1; Catechism of the Catholic
Church, No. 1601.
41. Cf. Pastoral Constitution
on the Church in the Modern World Gaudium
et Spes, 74.
42. Cf. Encyclical Letter Centesimus
Annus (1 May 1991), 57: AAS 83 (1991),
862-863 .
43. Cf. Encyclical Letter Laborem
Exercens (14 September 1981), 19: AAS
73 (1981), 625-629.
44. Cf. Adversus Haereses, III,
10, 2: PG 7, 873; SCh 211, 116- 119;
SAINT AUGUSTINE, De Incarnatione Verbi,
54: PG 25, 191- 192; SAINT AUGUSTINE,
Sermo 185, 3: PL 38, 999; Sermo 194,
3, 3: PL 38, 1016.
45. Cf. SECOND VATICAN ECUMENICAL
COUNCIL, Pastoral Constitution on the
Church in the Modern World Gaudium et
Spes, 24.
46. "Corpore et anima unus",
as the Council so clearly and felicitously
stated: ibid, 14.
47. Ibid, 22.
48. Cf. SECOND VATICAN ECUMENICAL
COUNCIL, Dogmatic Constitution on the
Church Lumen Gentium, 56-59.
49. Cf. PONTIFICAL COUNCIL FOR
SOCIAL COMMUNICATIONS, Pastoral Instruction
Aetatis Novae (22 February 1992), 7.
50. In the liturgy of their
Feast, which has its origins in the
fifth century, the Church turns to the
Holy Innocents, invoking them with the
words of the poet Prudentius (+ c. 105)
as "the flowers of the martyrs
whom, at the very threshold of their
lives, the persecutor of Christ cur
down as the whirlwind does to roses
still in bud".
51. SAINT ATHANASIUS, De Incarnatione
Verbi, 54: PG 25, 191- 192.
52. Cf. Veritatis Splendor (6
August 1993), 84.
53. Words of Light and Love,
59.
54. B. PASCAL, Pensees, Le mystere
de Jesus, 553 (ed. Br).
55. Cf. in particular Pastoral
Constitution on the Church Gaudium et
Spes, 47-52.
56. Of particular interest is
the Address to those taking part in
the Convention of the Italian Catholic
Union of Midwives (29 October 1951),
in Discorsi e Radiomessaggi, XIII, 333-353.
57. Cf. Address to the members
of the "Consilium de Laicis"
(2 October 1974) in AAS 66 (1974), 568.
58. Cf. Dogmatic Constitution
on the Church Lumen Gentium, 40.
59. Cf. Cardinal STEFAN WYSZYNSKI,
Rodzina Bogiem silna, Homily delivered
at Jasna Gora (26 August 1961).
60. Cf. Dogmatic Constitution
on the Church Lumen Gentium, 15.
61. Cf. ibid, 16.
